


I Hate You, I Love You

by samlapiana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Old Friends, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, guard dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-09 13:58:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12277965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samlapiana/pseuds/samlapiana
Summary: I hate youI love youI hate that I want youYou want her, you need herAnd I will never be herIt had been over a year since you had hunted with the Winchester brothers. You had felt you couldn’t hide your feelings anymore, so you left. While you were gone, life had been anything but good. When you meet up with the brothers again, you can’t resist staying with them. But your feelings for Dean are far from gone, and you’re afraid the pattern will remain the same. Can you hide what happened to you last year from the boys, or will the past come back to haunt you?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, readers. So I started this story kind of on its own. I promise I will get back to updating the others, but I just needed a break to regain some creativity. This one should be updated pretty often! Thanks for reading :)

_I hate you, I love you_   
_I hate that I want you_   
_You want her, you need her_   
_And I will never be her_   
_-Gnash_

 

You looked out the window of the dingy motel room, nervous about the day. You were going to see Sam and Dean, the hunting brothers you had known for years.

You felt silly being nervous—the three of you had been friends for so long. You hadn’t seen them in a while, though, and it was because of you.

You stood up and began to pace, thinking back to the last time you saw them over a year ago. You had been hunting with them for a few months. The three of you were a great team—you always had each other’s backs and the case would go smoothly. The three of you were happy…or at least that was how it seemed.

You left them. There were things that you just couldn’t ignore anymore, and you had to get away from them. You started off on your own: moving from town to town, hunting by yourself. You were lonely at times, but you knew you needed to do it to clear your head.

You heard a small whine across from where you were pacing. Charlie—your Rhodesian Ridgeback—was lying on the floor and watching you pace, his head tilted in confusion. You had decided to get a dog after what happened to you last year for protection. You shuddered a little at the thought before bending down to scratch behind his ears.

“I’m okay, boy. Just a little nervous is all.” His tail thumped loudly against the floor. Charlie had been your best friend since the day you had gotten him. You had learned how to train him by looking on the internet and watching how-to videos. He learned really fast, and was vicious toward any threat that came your way—sometimes even including the supernatural. You had trained him to stay back when necessary so he wouldn’t get hurt, but he had helped you with a well-placed bite to a monster a few times.

While Charlie was a great guard dog, he was also amazingly sweet. He would cuddle up next to you when you were sitting on the couch or in bed, and you would stroke the ridge down his back that had the strange hair pattern that gave his breed its name, which he loved.

You gave him another pat on the back and stood up just as you heard the tell-tale sound of the Impala’s engine in the motel parking lot.

“Well,” you said, messing with your hair, “here goes.”

  
The second you opened the door you had felt better. Sam greeted you with a goofy grin, followed by a big bear hug. Charlie was immediately on his feet, a growl low in his throat.

Sam set you down and you turned to Charlie. “Charlie, it’s okay.” This was the phrase you trained him to understand as “they won’t hurt me.” He stopped growling but still sat watching you protectively.

“What’s with the mutt?” Dean asked. You looked at him for the first time since opening the door. He had a half-smile on his face, his green eyes sparkling. He stepped forward and gave you a hug, which you lightly returned. When you stepped back, you pushed all thoughts of your Dean-related emotions aside and invited the boys in.

“He’s not a mutt,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I got him a while back. Just for fun,” you lied. You didn’t want to tell them the real reason you got a guard dog.

“Well I think he’s awesome,” Sam said. “Can I pet him?”

“Yeah, but just let him smell your hand first. He’s pretty well trained, so he needs to trust you first.” Sam did as he was told and Charlie sniffed his hand briefly before sticking his head under it. Sam chuckled and scratched behind his ears, eliciting a tail wag from the dog.

“Well, hey, what about me, buddy?” Dean asked, sticking his hand out. Charlie growled a bit and Dean pulled his hand back. “What the hell?”

“Sorry, he must just not know you well enough yet,” you said. You knew that it was probably more that Charlie sensed your hesitance towards Dean, but didn’t want to say that for obvious reasons.

Dean looked confused, but let it go. “So, Y/N, what’ve you been up to?” he asked, sitting down at the small table in your room.

“Just hunting, really. Traveling around a lot,” you said nonchalantly. You didn’t want to get into what the last year had really looked like for you. “Cas told me everything that’s been happening with you guys. You were busy,” you said, chuckling a little.

“Yeah, but that’s how it always is for us,” Sam said, putting an arm around your shoulders. You looked up at him, amazed again at how tall he was. You remembered when the two of you were younger and you were around the same height. Then, his freshman year of high school he shot up like a weed. Sam had always been like a little brother to you. After that, though, he seemed much less little.

“We’ve missed you, Y/N. We’re glad you called us,” Sam said, giving you a little squeeze. The truth was that you had missed them too. Sure, you had Charlie to keep you company now, but being with the boys just felt like home.

“So, what’re we looking at?” Dean asked, flipping through the pages of research you had printed out and left on the table.

“Vamp nest. Pretty big one, too. I was gonna take it on myself, but I’m pretty sure I’ll need some help.” _Not to mention I am just barely back to hunting after what happened._

“Okay, well let’s get on it, then!” Sam exclaimed. You nodded, sitting down to hand out what you’d found so far. You were glad that you were seeing the boys again, but you couldn’t help but being nervous being around Dean. Hopefully you could put it aside for this hunt.


	2. Chapter 2

You sat in the Impala on the way back from the hunt, letting the memories wash over you. The smell of the old leather--the rattling air vents...it all reminded you of the many rides you took with the boys while you were hunting together. Most of the memories were good ones, like singing along to Dean’s classic rock tapes and laughing at the pranks you would pull on each other.

You looked at Dean in the rear view mirror. He was humming along to his music, focused on the road. His face was smudged with dirt and blood from the hunt, but he still looked...well, he looked _fucking hot._

You hated that you even had that thought. Dean looked at you in the mirror and gave you a quick wink, being friendly. You quickly looked away, but felt the familiar pang of wanting flood through you.

_God, Y/N, get it together. Don’t go down that road again._

You reached next to you and stroked Charlie’s back, trying to distract yourself. You had had a crush on Dean for a very long time. You knew he wasn’t interested in you. He had never seen you as anything but another “one of the guys.” In fact, it was the reason you had left in the first place. You couldn’t stand knowing that he would never want you that way and watching him sleep with all of those random other girls.

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel and the three of you got out, heading into your room.

“Well, that was pretty flawless,” Sam said, shedding his jacket. The three of you had taken out the nest in seconds, lopping off each vampire’s head with swift aggression. There was no denying that you worked really well as a team.

“Yeah, that was much easier than I thought it would be,” you added. “I’m gonna hit the showers.”

As you eased yourself into the hot water, you moaned. You were incredibly sore after the hunt, still not completely back to normal from your past injuries. Your leg was especially painful, after all that had been done to it. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, images flashing through your mind quickly.

The way your life had become in the last year made you sad. You left the boys, spent time alone, nearly lost everything, and you were barely back to normal. Especially not on the inside. As you stood in the hot spray, you let a few tears fall at the thought.

When you got out of the bathroom and had your pajamas on, you went straight into one of the two motel beds. The boys were going to take their turns showering before going to sleep. Charlie had laid down on the other bed, keeping a close watch on you. You closed your eyes, trying to forget all the things that were constantly on your mind.

“Psst. Y/N,” you heard. You opened your eyes to see Dean hunched over, his eyes in line with yours. You had fallen asleep for a few minutes. “Can I join you? There isn’t exactly room on the other bed…”

You looked past Dean to the other bed to see Sam and Charlie spread out and taking up the whole thing, both snoring. You chuckled a little and scooted over to give Dean some room. You turned to face the wall, your back to him. You didn’t want him to see you blush at the thought of sharing a bed with him. You knew it was pathetic.

After a few moments both of you were still, and you felt yourself start to drift off again. Before you could, Dean’s voice broke through.

“You know, we barely heard from you.”

“I know,” you responded softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Well...glad you’re okay,” he said before yawning. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You smiled a little to yourself. “Goodnight, Dean.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dean

Dean woke feeling warm and extremely comfortable. And…

_Uh-oh._

He was pressed up against you. He had apparently turned and spooned you in his sleep. And now he had a little issue happening downtown.

_Fuck. I really hope she’s still asleep. Otherwise, she’s gonna think I’m so creepy._

Dean slowly extracted himself from around you, glad when you didn’t stir. He got up and nearly ran to the bathroom, trying to hide himself in case you or Sam woke up.

When he got to the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror, leaning on the sink. Though you were just friends, he couldn’t help the reaction his body had to you. In the time you had been apart, you had changed just a little bit. You were definitely a little older-looking, but in a good way. Your features had matured some. You looked like a woman, and it showed in your body.

Dean had always kind of seen you as a little sister, but now...that definitely wasn’t the case.

_Not that it matters. I’m pretty sure she barely tolerates me, let alone liking me like that._

Dean splashed some water on his face before going back out to the main room. When he did he saw that you and Sam had both woken up, and by the way you smiled when you saw him, you didn’t seem to be creeped out by him.

“Mornin,” Dean said, walking over to his bag.

“Good morning,” you said cheerily from your spot sitting on the bed.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Sam replied.

“Yeah, I guess I got a pretty good night’s sleep,” you said.

Dean turned to look through his bag so you wouldn’t see his blush. He had slept pretty damn well, too. And he was pretty sure it had something to do with the snuggling.

“So, do you guys plan on heading out today?” you asked, petting Charlie’s head.

Dean felt a little jolt of disappointment at the words. He had forgotten that the three of you weren’t together before this. He had been having such a good time hunting as a team again.

_Stop being such a pussy. You knew she wouldn’t want to leave with you._

Dean physically shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts. _Man, I need to get laid._

He looked to Sam, who seemed like he didn’t want to leave you either.

“Y/N...why don’t you come with us? we have a place we sort of inherited recently, and there’s plenty of room. We could definitely use you in our hunts,” Sam said.

“I don’t know…I don’t want to impose or be a tag-along,” you began, clearly hesitant.

“You wouldn’t be. We really missed you, and we would love for you to come back with us,” Sam said.

_Thank God for Sam and his mushy feelings crap. I could never say something like that._

You looked at Charlie, considering your options. You looked like you really wanted to say yes, but something was holding you back. In fact, for the first time Dean noticed that you looked almost...broken.

“Well, I guess I can for now,” you said. Dean felt his heart leap in excitement but quickly pushed it away. Surely he was just excited to get to hang out with a close friend again, right?

You smiled and looked to Dean, who realized a little too late that he had a goofy grin on his face. He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, but you better keep that mutt from leaving any ‘presents’ in my baby,” he said roughly.

Your face fell a bit. _God, I am such a dick._

Dean shook off the thought. “Let’s get going, kids. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us,” he said, putting the rest of his stuff in his bag. He just wanted to get behind the wheel of his car before he said or did anything else that was stupid.

——————

You

_Hey there, gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?_

You gasped and shot up quickly from your position leaned against the window in the back seat. You had left the car you had in favor of riding with the boys to Kansas. It was just as well—it was stolen anyway.

“You okay?” Sam asked from the front seat. Charlie stuffed his nose under your hand to get you to pet him—something that actually calmed you down, which he knew.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a weird dream,” you said, stroking Charlie’s head. Your heart rate returned to normal and you turned toward the window, closing your eyes for a moment.

Every time you thought or dreamed about that night it was like it was happening all over again. The nightmares were the worst. You had spent many a night lying awake in bed, tears streaming down and unable to sleep after dreaming in broken images from that horrifying night last year. You silently shamed yourself for falling asleep when everyone else was awake.

You looked toward the front seat and saw Dean watching you in the rear view mirror, concern on his face. It quickly changed to a smile as he pulled up to what you assumed was the ‘bunker.’

“Home, sweet home!” He exclaimed.

——

The bunker was insane, and you loved it. It was like a hunter’s dream home. You had spent nearly two hours exploring the vast rooms, twisting hallways, and the enormous library.

Sam and Dean gave you a room between theirs, which had a queen sized bed big enough for you and Charlie. You set down your duffle, not bothering to unpack. You weren’t even sure how long you would be there, as much as you’d like to live in the awesomeness that was the bunker forever.

You sat down on the bed, stroking Charlie’s favorite spot on his back again. You took a deep breath in. You knew that the year you were apart hadn’t done anything for your feelings for Dean. If anything, they grew stronger because you missed him. You lowered your head, feeling defeated.

After a moment, your head shot up.

_Why should I feel like this? I was a coward when I was with the boys before. I let everything he did get to me._

Not this time.

You resolved to not go back to feeling that way again. If Dean didn’t want you, then fine. You would just show him what he’s missing and find something better. Or just be single and have fun. He certainly wasn’t afraid to do that.

You got up from the bed and went out into the hallway.

“Hey! What do you boys say we go out for celebratory drinks after that hunt?”

Both men poked their heads out of their rooms and agreed. You turned back into your room to start getting ready.

_I’m going to have some fun tonight,_ you promised yourself.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Dean

Dean stood in the kitchen, waiting for you and Sam so you could go to the bar. He definitely needed a stiff one after the day he had.

“Come on, girls, let’s go!” He yelled down the hall. Sam came out of his room, his eyes narrowed at Dean for his comment.

“Be out in a sec!” You yelled from your room.

“You’re nice and cleaned up,” Sam said, surprised.

“Don’t be so surprised. I gotta catch some tail tonight, so I pulled out all the stops,” Dean replied. He was dressed in a gray v-neck tee shirt and jeans with a black leather motorcycle jacket. He knew it looked good, cause it always helped him pick a lady up at the bar.

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. After a moment his face lit up with a big smile, and Dean followed his gaze behind him to the hall where you had just appeared.

_Holy shit._

Dean gaped at you. You looked incredible. And sexy...and beautiful.

“You guys ready?” You asked.

———-

You

You felt your insides light up a bit at the look Dean was giving you.

_I guess he likes my outfit._

You had chosen to wear something you knew made you look good. You told yourself earlier that you were going to have fun tonight, and you had meant it. You had put on a pair of tight black skinny jeans that accentuated your curves in all the right places. You had a flowy white tee shirt (that was cut just low enough to be tempting, but not slutty) on with a black leather jacket over it and some long necklaces to accessorize. Your Y/H/C hair was flowing down your shoulders in loose waves, and you had the perfect smoky eye that made your Y/E/C eyes stand out boldly.

“Y/N, you look beautiful,” Sam said with a big smile. He walked toward you and gave you a light kiss on the head before heading to the garage. Dean continued to stare, not saying anything.

“Uh...you ready to go?” You asked, a small smirk on your face.

Dean shook his head as if to clear it. “Uh, y-yeah. You...you look...amazing, by the way.” His green eyes glistened and little lines appeared around his eyes as he said it.

“You look pretty good yourself,” you said, giving him a small look up and down. With a wink, you turned on your heel and headed for the garage. You were happy you looked good, but tried to remind yourself that you didn’t do it for Dean.

——

When you got to the bar, you told Dean to order you a whiskey neat so you could go start hustling pool. He quirked an eyebrow up at your order.

“What?”

“Whiskey neat? You?” He asked incredulously.

“Yeah, so what?”

He leaned back against the bar, crossing his arms. “I seem to remember many times at the bar with you only ordering drinks that had ten tons of grenadine and vodka in them.”

It was true; in the past you would only order “girly” drinks. When you were apart from the boys, though, you had found that you wanted to feel the alcohol quick most of the time. So you made the switch, and you hadn’t gone back.

You shrugged. “Things change.” With that, you turned and walked determinedly to the pool table, striking up a conversation with the men gathered there. You could almost feel Dean’s eyes burning a hole in the back of your head.

Dean brought your drink over, but continued to watch from a distance while chatting up some girl. You ignored the pang of jealousy you felt and continued on with your game. You had finished the first round, and now you were about to kick their butts.

You were leaning over to make your first shot when you felt someone leaning over behind you, his beer-soaked breath close to your ear.

“Here, sweetheart, let me help you,” the man said as he guided your cue and and placed his other hand on your ass. You felt panic rise up in you. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle this dick...it was the familiarity of the situation that bothered you.

You stood up and looked past the man to see Dean standing up straight, as if ready to attack. A look to your left showed you that Sam was doing the same thing. You gave them each a wink, feeling more confident when you realized you had backup.

“Why don’t you let me try this one on my own, sweetheart?” You said in a sickly sweet voice. The older—and ugly—man smirked a little and licked his lips. You leaned back down and took your shot, sinking two balls at once. When you stood back up, the man looked flabbergasted.

“Hmm. Looks like I’m good without any help. Thanks for the offer, though.” You walked a little closer to him, so only he could hear you. “And if you touch my ass again, I’ll stick this pool cue so far up your ass that no one will ever see it again.”

With that you turned toward the bar, taking your empty glass for a refill. Dean gave you a small smirk as you passed by before returning to the blonde he was talking to.

_Not gonna let the blonde bother me. I’m here to have fun._

After a few hours, you were up $400 and fairly tipsy. Sam and Dean had found girls to talk to most of the night (Dean still flirting with the blonde), and you were pretty sure they were going to be going home with them. Not wanting to cramp their style, you decided to sneak out and take a cab back to the bunker alone.

You made it out of the building and around the corner before you felt a forceful pair of hands push you into the alleyway.

“What the fuck? Get your hands off me!” You yelled. Before you could defend yourself, the man that grabbed your ass at the pool table earlier had given you a swift kick to the ribs, making you double over in pain. He reached forward and grabbed you by your hair, wrenching your head backward so your eyes were on him.

“No one fucking talks to me that way and gets away with it,” he breathed drunkenly at you. He pulled you back even further by the hair till you stumbled and fell. He began kicking you wherever he could, including your face. You continued to try to get up, but every time you did he kicked you back down. You felt yourself on the brink of losing consciousness before the kicks finally stopped.

“I’ll show you what you get for talking to me like that.” He was on top of you now, not even needing to hold you down as he unbuckled his jeans. Your brain was screaming for him to stop, but you could barely breathe as it was.

Just as he was reaching to undo your jeans, you felt his weight lifted off of you, followed by the sound of punches and bones cracking. You opened your swollen eyes as much as you could and saw that Sam and Dean were beating the shit out of the man.

Dean was really laying into him, and eventually Sam had to stop him, or surely he would have killed him. When the man was lying in a heap on the ground, the boys came back to your side.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry! If I knew you were leaving I would have come with you!” Sam said.

You looked up at the two pairs of Winchester eyes, unable to speak due to the sheer panic you were feeling. As you stared at them, your eyelids began to droop, and you let yourself succumb to unconsciousness to avoid the way you were feeling.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean

Dean was in disbelief about what he was seeing.

He and Sam had carried you to the Impala after you had passed out, and were now working on fixing you up at the bunker. When Sam had taken off your shirt to inspect your ribs, though, both men were horrified.

Your entire abdomen was lined with scars. He and Sam both gasped at the sight. Upon further inspection, the scars went down your legs as well, and they could see them peeking out from behind your undergarments, too.

“Maybe she was attacked by a werewolf or something while she was gone,” Sam had said when he was finally able to speak again.

“Sammy, those weren’t done by a werewolf. Those are too precise—too mapped out to be done by a monster.”

“You think a human did this?” Sam asked. It was really more of a statement than a question.

“Yes.”

“Y/N, what the hell happened to you this year?” Sam asked quietly under his breath to your unconscious form.

Dean shook his head. Seeing you all beat up was one thing...but seeing what you’d been through while you were apart broke his heart.

Charlie sat next to Dean, his head resting on your leg. Dean pat him on the head when a small whimper came from his throat.

“She’ll be okay, boy,” he said. He just really hoped it was true.

——-

_Last Year_

_You sat at the bar, enjoying a tequila sunrise after making bank at the pool table._

_“Hey there, gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?”_

_You looked to your right and saw the very attractive man sit next to you. He looked harmless enough, so nodded a little. He signaled to the bartender to get you another._

_“So what’s your name?” He asked._

_“Y/N,” you said, sticking your hand out. “Yours?”_

_“Brad.” He shook your hand._

_You felt your cheeks redden at the look he was giving you. It was intense, and you could tell he liked you._

_The two of you talked for a while, and he seemed like a really nice guy. You excused yourself to go to the bathroom, finding that you were actually considering giving him your phone number. Sure, you were a hunter, and you moved around a lot, but you had surely earned some fun in your life, right?_

_As you stood at the sink to wash your hands, you started to feel a little woozy. You had only had a drink and a half, so you were confused as to why it hit you so hard._

_Right as you thought it, your legs gave out, and you found yourself falling to the floor._

_As you lay there, trying to understand what was happening through your foggy brain, you felt hands lift you up and begin walking you outside. Brad put you in his car, and you couldn’t do anything to protest._

_All you thought as he drove you away was, “this can’t be happening.”_

_————_ —

You

As you came to, the first thing you felt was intense pain. Everything hurt.

_What the hell?_

Keeping your eyes closed, you tried to remember what happened to you. All that came to mind was being at the bar…

_Ugh_.

That creep from the pool table. He jumped you. And almost raped you.

Your heart seized in panic. You couldn’t believe that this almost happened again.

_What is wrong with me? Do I deserve this or something?_

You slowly opened your eyes and immediately squinted them from the harsh light in the room.

“Y/N?”

You turned your head slowly in the direction of the voice and saw both Sam and Dean sitting beside your bed. You hadn’t noticed at first, but Sam had been holding your hand as they waited for you to wake up.

The emotions flowing through you made you unable to speak. Your eyes darted between the brothers, and your face crumpled as you felt hot tears leaking from your eyes.

Dean leaned forward, stroking your hair. “Shh, Y/N, darlin. You’re okay. You’re safe now,” he said gently.

You turned your head away from him, embarrassed by your weakness.

“Dean, maybe we should give her a few minutes,” Sam said quietly. You could almost hear the silent argument the brothers had with each other. Dean sighed.

“Y/N, we’ll be right out in the hall. Just call if you need us. Here, take these pills. They’re strong. We know you must be hurting.”

You held out your hand without looking at him and took the pills he placed in your palm.

Once they left you closed your eyes, sniffling as the last of your tears fell. You wanted nothing more than to go back to unconsciousness, and as the pills kicked in, you let yourself drift into a dreamless sleep.

——

“We gotta ask her, man.”

“Dean, don’t you think she’s been through enough at this point? We don’t want to send her over the edge,” Sam replied.

You were awake again, and could hear the boys talking from the hall.

“Sam, we have to find out who did that to her.”

“And we will. Just not right now,” Sam said, trying to calm Dean down.

_So they saw the scars._

You weren’t all that surprised. They obviously had to take care of you after you were attacked. Of course, now you were going to have to tell them what happened. Your heart sped up at the thought. It was so embarrassing. You couldn’t defend yourself like every hunter should be able to...and against a human at that.

You knew Dean would never let it go until he knew, though. That’s just who he is. You knew you would tell them, but like Sam said, not yet.

You let out a moan to alert the boys you were awake. Charlie trotted up to your bed, his ears perked up hopefully. You slowly reached down and pet his head, getting small licks in return as if he knew you were fragile right now.

“Y/N, you’re awake,” Sam said, coming into the room with Dean on his tail.

“Yeah,” you said, your voice like gravel.

“Here,” Dean said, handing you a glass of water quickly. You tried to reach out to take it, but felt pain stabbing through your abdomen. You flinched and grabbed your stomach.

“Yeah, we think you have a few bruised ribs. Maybe even broken,” Sam said.

“Let me help you,” Dean said. He brought the glass to your lips and slowly poured some into your mouth. The liquid felt like heaven on your sore throat and sandpaper tongue.

“You really scared us there, sweetheart,” Dean said, taking the glass from your lips.

You chuckled drily. “Can’t keep me down,” you said sarcastically.

“Well, we took care of that dick. He’s probably in the hospital eating from a tube by now,” Sam said. You nodded, hoping your face showed your gratitude.

“So listen, I’m gonna go make something for you to eat. Otherwise those painkillers are gonna make you sick,” Sam said.

“Thanks, Sam,” you said. He gave you a quick smile and left the room.

Dean took a seat next to your bed again, leaning his elbows on the mattress and looking at you.

“What?” You asked at his stare.

“What happened to you when you were gone?”

_Shit_.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean

The look of sheer panic on your face almost made Dean regret he asked. Almost.

_I need to know what happened to her._

“Y/N, you don’t have to be afraid. You’re with Sam and I now, and we won’t let anything happen to you ever again.” Dean hoped his words would comfort you enough to open up to him.

You let out a deep sigh, wincing when the action made your ribs hurt. “I was drugged, I was raped, and I was tortured.”

Dean felt the air leave his lungs in a whoosh. Your words rolled around his head and he was having trouble understanding them, as if they were foreign.

“The man that did this to me wasn’t a werewolf or a vampire...but he was a monster.”

Dean waited for you to continue, already feeling the rage against this man filling his body.

“I met him at a bar. He told me his name, he bought me a drink, and we hit it off.”

You were staring straight ahead, seeing what happened in the past. You didn’t seem to notice Sam come in and sit down next to Dean, a plate of food in his hands.

“A little while into our conversation, I went to the bathroom. While I was there, I started to feel weird. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor. He came in, took me to his car...and I couldn’t do anything.”

“He put something in your drink?” Sam asked, his brows drawn together in anger or concern—Dean wasn’t sure which.

“Yes. And I stayed that way for days—weeks, actually.”

“W-weeks?” Dean heard himself stutter out.

“Yeah. It’s not like I really had anyone I was in contact with at the time. No one was looking for me.”

Dean’s heart dropped. How could he have not been worried about you? Sure, he and Sam had called you a few times and you didn’t answer...but he had just figured you were busy.

“I know I’ll probably regret asking this, but...what happened next?” Sam asked.

“Well, I had hoped he would just rape me and let me go. Or kill me. But I wasn’t that lucky,” you said. Dean didn’t know how much of this he could handle. That it was so bad that you wanted to die...that was terrifying.

“Like I said, he kept me drugged. I was awake most of the time, but I had no control over my body. I know you saw the scars. My body was like his palette. He used it to practice his carving skills. He—he was a psychopath. He kept them clean so I wouldn’t get infections.”

Dean’s rage was barely contained within him. He began to shake, only getting it under control when Sam placed a big hand on his shoulder.

“The blood and lacerations only turned him on more. He would alternate between carving and raping.” Tears silently streamed down your face, and Dean felt the urge to reach out and wipe them away. He was afraid that touching you would only make it worse, though.

“How did you get away?” Sam asked. Dean was grateful that Sam was able to form coherent sentences and get more information. He certainly couldn’t.

“I just got lucky. One day, he slipped up. He forgot to inject me with the drug. I was weak, malnourished, and in pain...but I got up and I got out. I had been kept in a bedroom the entire time, and it wasn’t hard to get through the door. He didn’t expect me to ever be strong enough.”

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head, all of the information slowly sinking in.

“Only problem is that he pulled up to the house just as I opened the front door. He shoved me down and beat me. We were inside the door, but I screamed as loudly as I could. The neighbors heard and called the police. He ran as soon as he heard sirens.”

You heaved a sigh, wincing again at the pain in your ribs. “He used a bat. I was fortunate enough to only have a shattered right leg and a dislocated shoulder. Plus a lot of bruises and scars.”

Dean couldn’t hold back any longer. “Did they catch the bastard?!” He yelled, standing up.

You looked up at him, a blank stare in your eyes. “No.”

Dean saw red. “Mother fucker.” With that, he left the room and stomped down the hallway. He went to the garage and got into the Impala. He knew he couldn’t explode with the state you were in, so he decided he’d have to blow off steam on a drive.

A long drive.


	7. Chapter 7

You

Sam turned back to you after watching Dean storm out.

“He’ll be okay. He’s just protective of you. I know him. He’s mad he wasn’t there,” Sam explained. He let out a sigh. “I am, too.”

You looked at Sam, making your eyes as sincere as possible. “I would never blame either of you. I pushed you away, and there is no way you could have known.”

“But Y/N... _weeks_. He had you for _weeks_. We should have done something when we didn’t hear from you!” Sam raked his hand through his hair.

“Sammy, if hunters did that, we would never get anything done. It’s always going to be something. And besides, I’m alive. That’s all that matters.”

Sam looked down with another sigh. He scratched Charlie behind the ears, who was sitting next to him.

“That’s why you got Charlie, isn’t it? Because they never caught that guy?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I know it’s unlikely he’ll ever find me, but...I just couldn’t be alone anymore, you know?”

“Y/N, you should have come to us. We would have taken you in!” Sam exclaimed. You had known he would say that. You knew that both boys would take you back in a heartbeat.

“It was too hard, Sam.” You felt your eyes well up again. “To see that look on Dean’s face everyday...the one he just gave me? I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand the pity.”

Sam looked away for a moment before nodding. “You love him, don’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

Your eyes shifted a bit before finally landing on his. All you could do was nod as another tear fell.

“And that’s why you left, right?” Sam asked.

“Yes. I couldn’t do it anymore. I knew he didn’t feel the same way. I’ll never be anything more than what we are now with him.”

Sam climbed up into the bed with you, opening his arms. You carefully snuggled in, and he stroked your hair. “I love you, Y/N. You’re like a sister to me. I know I can’t really help you with this Dean stuff, but just know I’m here for you, and I’ll never let that man or anyone else get to you again.”

You smiled up at Sam before snuggling back into his chest. He let you stay there as you cried some more for everything you’d lost.

Regardless of how taxing telling your story was, though, it was still surpassed by your worry for what Dean might be doing.

——-

Dean

“You need to come back, man.”

Sam sighed through the phone, his disappointment evident.

“Sammy, don’t give me that right now,” Dean said, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Dude, now is not the time for you to run off and do something stupid. Come home.”

“I’m not doing anything stupid,” Dean began.

“Regardless, Y/N needs us now more than ever.”

“I know,” Dean sighed. “I’m coming back.” He paused for a moment. “But Sam, we can’t let that fucker just get away with this.”

“I know, and we won’t. I promise.” Dean could tell that Sam was being sincere. He hung up the phone, tossing it on the seat beside him.

He had already been heading for home, having driven off some of his fury. He tried to distract himself with his surroundings as he drove, but the image of your scarred body kept floating through his mind.

Dean walked into the bunker and began heading for your room. Sam walked out just as he reached the door and pushed him back a little.

“What?” Dean asked, confused.

“Just...go easy on her,” he replied with a wary look.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked, annoyance clear in his features.

“I mean don’t give her the third degree. She’s been through a lot, and re-living it has exhausted her. She just needs us to be her friends right now, not her protective-hunter-friends.”

Dean’s face softened a bit. “Yeah,” he sighed. “Got it.”

He walked into your room and found that you had fallen asleep. He stood by your bed for a moment, just watching you.

Dean felt his anger give way to grief. He couldn’t understand how a human could do this to you. Two humans, actually. You were probably the kindest person he had ever known.

Dean felt a little nudge at his hand, and looked down to see Charlie shoving his nose under it. He chuckled a little and sat down in the oversized chair next to your bed that Sam must have brought in while he was gone. He scratched Charlie behind the ears.

“So you like me now, huh?” Dean asked him quietly.

In response the big dog jumped up into the chair beside him, curling in and laying his head in Dean’s lap. Dean smiled, strangely honored to be liked by the animal.

“I know you kept an eye on her after she was attacked. Thank you.” He knew the dog probably didn’t understand him, but he meant it all the same. Dean leaned forward and gently took your hand as you slept. He rested his head on his arm and watched you sleep, finding himself drifting off before long as well.


	8. Chapter 8

You

You really hadn’t had much time to think about your feelings for Dean. Since you’d told them your story that night, you’d pretty much been focused on healing. Cas was currently not answering his phone or the boys’ prayers, so healing you was out. It didn’t matter to you, though. You’d healed without him before and you would do it again.

Dean had been really sweet to you, though you could tell he was itching to ask you for information about the man who kidnapped you. It was just as well; you didn’t even know his last name.

You were still feeling a little panicky about what had happened. You were having nightmares that combined both attacks into one terrifying experience. You would wake up screaming, and inevitably one or both of the boys would come running into your room, half-asleep but still concerned.

None of that was the worst part, though. The worst part was the boredom. You were pretty much on forced bed rest. Every time you tried to do something for yourself Sam and Dean would see and immediately make you lay back down in bed.

Not that you could really do much, anyway.

The pain in your ribs was excruciating most of the time, and it takes a long time for broken ribs to heal. You really could barely even walk, which meant that Sam had to take Charlie with him on his morning runs, or the poor dog would have gone crazy. Charlie loved Sam for this, and it didn’t escape your notice that he seemed to love Dean now, too.

It had been about a week since the attack. You were lying in bed, reading an old, dusty book on vampire lore. You laid the book on your stomach carefully and sighed. You felt disgusting. You hadn’t really showered since you’d been in the bed with the exception of a quick washcloth bath you did yourself. You couldn’t take it anymore.

You were alone, so you decided to quietly walk to the bathroom and run yourself a hot shower. You turned it on, waited for the water to get warm, and carefully began removing your clothes. It was a difficult task, to say the least. You had managed to get one arm out of your shirt, but lifting your arms over your head to remove it was proving to be too painful.

“Hey, Y/N, I heard the shower running, are you…” Dean said as he opened the bathroom door. He stopped when he saw you awkwardly trying to remove your shirt, and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Need a little help there, sweetheart?” He chuckled.

“Ugh, I just...can’t...get my arms over my head!” You said as you struggled.

“Why didn’t you just ask us for help?” He asked.

“Because, this is obviously embarrassing,” you said, stopping your squirming. “I can’t even bathe myself for fuck’s sake!”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Alright, calm down. Just...let me help you.” He walked forward and pulled your shirt from the back of your neck and over your arms. He then pulled your sweatpants down for you and gave you his shoulder for stability to step out of them.

You stood there awkwardly in your underwear, an arm slung across your middle. You felt ashamed of the scars marring your body...the ones Dean was currently staring at.

“Uh, thanks. I think I’m good now.” Dean snapped his head up at your words, giving you a small glare.

“Really, darlin? You think you’ll be able to reach up and wash your hair like this?” He asked.

You realized he was right. There was no way you could do this alone. But if he helped you that meant…

“Okay, fine. Just...can we please make this as not awkward as possible?” You asked, your face turning red.

Dean rolled his eyes again. “Yes, I promise, no awkwardness.”

“Okay.” You turned around, facing the shower. You felt him walk up behind you, his breath sending a chill down your spine.

_This is just a friend helping a friend. Don’t think about it._

Dean gently grabbed the straps of your bra and slid them down your arms. He unclasped it, his fingers sliding down your back and over your scars lightly. You closed your eyes as your heart sped up, trying not to read into it.

He pulled your panties down in the same way he had your sweatpants and you stepped out of them. You kept your arms over your breasts and stepped into the warm spray of the shower. You were too embarrassed to look at Dean. You didn’t want to see the pity on his face when he looked at your scars. You didn’t want to feel your face redden at the look he gave you when he thought about how helpless you were.

“Alright, wet your hair and hand me the shampoo,” he said softly.

—

Dean

Dean was struggling more than he ever thought he would in this situation. He had actually just helped you undress. You were standing in front of him, _naked_.

He tried as hard as he could to keep his eyes on your face, but he continually found them raking up and down your body. He took in every curve, every angle, and every scar.

Though he hated the way you got the scars, there was something about them. The lighter color of the skin there almost made you look like you were glowing—like you were a piece of artwork.

And when he had run his fingertips down your skin...he definitely had trouble keeping himself under control. It was smooth, and he couldn’t believe how soft it was after everything that had been done to it.

You handed him the shampoo, not even looking at him. He put some in his hands and lathered it up before having you tilt your head toward him. You stood with your back to him again, leaning your head slightly out of the shower. Water dripped from your hair to Dean’s shirt, but he didn’t care.

As he washed your hair, he gently massaged your head with his fingers. The small moan that escaped your lips at the feeling nearly had his knees buckling. Your eyes were closed, a small smile on your face. He was pretty sure you didn’t even know you had made the sound.

When he was done, you stepped back into the shower and rinsed, the suds from the shampoo sliding down your body. Dean bit his lip as he watched, your eyes closed and head leaned back into the water. When all the soap was gone, your head lifted back up and he quickly looked away.

“I think I can take it from here. Thanks, Dean,” you said. He thought maybe you sounded a little breathless, but figured it was probably just from the pain. Dean swallowed hard and nodded, unable to speak. He turned quickly on his heel and left the bathroom, hurrying down the hall to his room.

He was hard as a rock, and he wasn’t surprised. He laid on his bed, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want to resolve the situation. He thought that would be weird—jerking off to the image of your naked body when you were just down the hall. It was damn near painful, though, and he tried as hard as he could to think of anything but what he just saw.

An hour later, he was okay. He hadn’t done anything, but eventually the wanting ebbed away. What hadn’t gone away was the quickening of his heartbeat every time he thought of you.

Dean rubbed a hand down his face. _Dude, get it together. She is probably so grossed out by you right now._

He only hoped he could get himself under control before he saw you again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter cuz it’s Friday! And remember, I love reading your comments, so feel free to tell me what you think!

You

You were healing pretty well. You were finally able to walk around, feed, and bathe yourself. Dean had disappeared after the time he helped you shower, shutting himself in his room for the rest of the day. You figured it was because you had embarrassed him.

_I mean, how uncomfortable is it for you to bathe someone that’s like a member of your family?_

Since then, he had been avoiding you most of the time. The three of you had gathered to eat dinner every once and a while, but he would still avoid your eyes.

_Fantastic_.

A few weeks later, you were going crazy. You were ready to get back to your regular life. Your pain was mostly gone, and all the cuts and bruises had healed.

“Sammy, come on, you gotta get me out of here.” You sat with Sam in the library, begging him for something to do.

“Are you sure you’re ready for that, Y/N? I just don’t want you doing anything before you’re completely healed.”

“I’m fine, Sam! I barely have any pain. And I know you’re worried about my mental stability with all this, but the truth is that I have been through all this before, but last time, I did it all on my own.”

Sam met your eyes with a little guilt in his own. “Okay, I trust you. Just take it easy, okay?”

You smiled widely for the first time in weeks. “I will! So what should we do?” You asked excitedly.

“What should we do when?” Dean asked, joining you in the library.

“Oh, Sam and I were just discussing going out. And before you lecture me, we’ve already talked about it, and I can handle it.”

Dean held his hands up in surrender. “I wasn’t gonna say anything.”

“Good. Then let’s go out tonight. Somewhere fun. And I won’t wander off alone this time, I promise,” you said, seeing the boys’ concerned faces.

They both relaxed a little. “Okay, let’s do it,” Sam said, closing his laptop.

——

Dean

You had talked the brothers into going to a bar—a different one than last time, thankfully. Dean could tell that you really did need to get out, and while he’d been avoiding you a bit lately after the shower fiasco, he was glad he could come out with you.

Your excitement at getting out of the bunker was contagious. Dean watched you in the rear view mirror on the way there as you practically bounced up and down with anticipation. He chuckled a little bit and shook his head.

When they arrived, you nearly ran to the bar to get a drink. You got everyone a shot of tequila, passing them out and raising yours in the air.

“To getting better,” you said. The three of you clinked shot glasses and downed them. Dean winced a little, wishing he had a lime. You took yours like a pro and grabbed the whiskey neat the bartender had also made for you. Dean got his own as well and the three of you sat down at a booth near an open area that was meant for dancing.

The three of you shot the shit for a while, discussing when you could return to hunting, why you hadn’t heard from Cas in so long, and other related topics. After a few minutes, you stood up, slapping your hands on the table. Sam and Dean both looked at you, their eyebrows raised.

“I’m tired of talking about work,” you said. Dean watched as your head turned from the dance floor to he and his brother. “I say we go dance.”

Dean immediately shook his head. He was never a big fan of dancing. The only thing that ever made it good was when he had a hot lady pressed up against him.

A look to his side told him that Sam was doing the same thing, telling you it wasn’t going to happen. You huffed, turned on your heel, and went to the dance floor alone.

Dean watched as you marched over to the computer that was plugged in to the audio system (not the fanciest of bars), and picked a new song.

Sam and Dean looked at each other and chuckled as the opening a capella lines of “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen came on through the speakers. You had joined the other patrons on the dance floor, where everyone seemed to like your song choice.

Dean saw you close your eyes and bob your head to the beat that began to play. As the band started to sing, you joined in, mouthing the lyrics. You joined in with all the others dancing to the song, swinging your hips back and forth as it continued.

Dean laughed as you turned to look at him, mouthing the words in his direction.

_Are you gonna take me home tonight?_  
_Oh down beside that red firelight_  
_Are you gonna let it all hang out_  
 _Fat bottomed girls  
You make the rockin’ world go round_

He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help smiling. You were having so much fun, and to be perfectly honest, you looked sexy as _hell_ dancing.

Dean fought the urge to get up and dance with you. He knew if he did, he would pull you to his hips, and there would be no hiding just how much you turned him on.

“Why don’t you just go dance with her?” Sam’s voice pulled Dean from his thoughts.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re sure staring enough. Just go dance,” Sam replied.

“Dude, I’m not staring. I’m just making sure nothing happens to her,” Dean lied.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. I’m gonna go dance with that blonde over there,” Sam said, pointing to the corner of the dance floor where a pretty girl was eyeing him.

_Shit. I really need to get this under control._

Dean was positive that you didn’t think of him like that. You saw him as a friend, and he needed to distract himself so he didn’t ruin that.

He scanned the room quickly. A tall, thin brunette was eyeing him from her spot at the bar. Dean gave her a quick smile and a wink, which she returned.

_She will be the perfect distraction._


	10. Chapter 10

You

To your heart’s dismay, Dean spent the evening chatting up some chick he met by the bar. You still managed to have fun; that is, until you saw him leaving the bar, the pretty brunette at his heels.

Your heart dropped, and you felt a hole in the pit of your stomach.

You stood unmoving in the middle of the dance floor. You stayed there until you heard Sam’s voice next to you.

“Hey, you wanna head home?”

You looked at him, seeing the pity in his eyes. He must have seen Dean leave, too.

“What about that girl you were talking to?” You asked, not wanting to ruin his night.

“I got her number,” he said with a smirk. “I can call her any time.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving you a light squeeze. “C’mon. Let’s go home and watch some Netflix.”

You smiled up at him, grateful for the distraction.

—-

You and Sam watched reruns of Friends on Netflix late into the night. At some point, your eyelids got heavy, and you fell asleep leaning against Sam’s shoulder.

“Y/N! Y/N!”

You woke to the sound of Sam yelling your name. You opened your eyes, seeing the look of panic on his face.

“Wha—what’s wrong?” You asked.

“You were having a nightmare. You were screaming,” he explained with a pained look.

You realized then that you were covered in a slick sheen of sweat, and it all came rushing back to you.

_Laying on the bed, unable to move._

_Brad, leaning over you, carving his knife across your most delicate skin._

_So much pain that you wished for death._

You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm your racing heart.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep on you,” you said. You were disappointed in yourself again. What happened to you was your burden, not the boys’.

“It’s really not a big deal.” He gave you his puppy dog eyes. “You know you can talk to me whenever, right?”

“Yes, little brother,” you said, rolling your eyes a little. He smiled and gave you a small shove with his shoulder.

“I’m gonna head to bed. Night, Y/N,” he said, exiting your room. The nightmare had you pretty keyed up, so you decided to go get some water from the kitchen to clear your head.

As you leaned against the counter, quietly sipping your water in the dark, you heard the garage door open, followed by giggles.

Dean stumbled drunkenly into the kitchen, the girl from earlier in toe. You instantly regretted getting out of bed.

“Oh, h-hey, Y/N,” Dean slurred. “Th-this is Deb-rah.” He pronounced her name as two separate words.

“Hi,” the girl squeaked out.

“Nice to meet you,” you said without any real emotion. You knew she probably wouldn’t remember meeting you in the morning anyway.

“We—we are going to head to my room,” Dean said. You pursed your lips in response.

“Have fun,” you said, turning back to the sink. You didn’t want him to see your face crumple—drunk or not.

You heard the two shuffle down the hall to Dean’s room, slamming the door behind them. You jumped at the sound before closing your eyes in annoyance.

_This is like the shittiest night ever._

You walked to the library, knowing you couldn’t be anywhere near hearing distance to Dean’s room. You sat down in one of the stuffed leather chairs, where you would stay and sleep horribly the rest of the night.

—

_Of course she’s nice._

You thought it to yourself after reintroducing yourself to Debra in the morning. She actually liked to go by Deb, as she informed you. She had gone on to apologize for the night before, saying that she didn’t usually do such things.

You could still hate her even after the apology. That was, until she started asking you about yourself and proving to be nothing but nice.

You had decided to return her kindness. You reminded yourself that it wasn’t her fault that you were hopelessly in love with Dean.

“You want some pancakes?” You asked after pouring her a mug of coffee. Dean was still asleep, and you figured you could at the very least enjoy the look on his face when he realized his one-night-stand didn’t leave.

“That sounds great.” She said, taking a seat at the table. “So, uh...Dean told me last night what you guys do. I was pretty drunk, so I didn’t really question it. When I woke up here, though, I figured either he was telling the truth or this was where I would die a bloody death and no one would ever hear from me again.”

You chuckled a little. You could only imagine the drunken explanation Dean gave her last night, figuring she wouldn’t remember anyway.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, hon, but that’s the truth. No one would blame you if you ran screaming,” you said, turning back to her as you stirred the batter.

“Huh. I can’t say I’m that surprised. I’ve definitely had some encounters that were not human.”

You smiled at her quick acceptance of the world of monsters. “Ghost?” You asked.

“Yeah. You kind of convince yourself that you’re just crazy but...I know it was real. After my mom died, we saw her everywhere. That is, until we moved to a new house,” she explained, a small frown on her face.

_Uh-oh._

“Did another family move in?” You asked. You were afraid that this girl had just dropped a case in your lap.

“No. It actually burned down, and that’s why we moved. It was really a blessing in disguise,” Deb said. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear and looked down at her coffee.

“You’re right, it was. That fire probably sent your mom over to the other side.” You put down your spoon and sat across from her at the table, lightly placing your hand on hers. “She’s much happier now, I promise.”

Deb wiped a tear from her eye before smiling up at you. “Thanks, Y/N. You’re really sweet.”

You gave her a quick smile and got up to continue making breakfast. It wasn’t long before Sam joined you in the kitchen, having just got home from his run with Charlie. Even your damn dog liked Deb.

_Traitor. Not that I can blame him._

Soon enough, you heard a groan come from the entrance to the kitchen, followed by a very hungover Dean holding his head.

You handed him a steaming cup of coffee which he took gratefully. He turned to the table, and seeing Deb sitting there began fumbling.

“Oh, uh, Debra, you’re still here,” he said, sitting down next to her.

“That okay?” She asked with a smirk.

Though you were still reeling with jealousy, you turned to face her again. “It’s fine,” you said pointedly to Dean. He looked at you, a little slow on the uptake. “And her name is Deb.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, it’s great!” He said a little too enthusiastically before groaning again and holding his head. You rolled your eyes and looked at Sam who gave you an encouraging—albeit sympathetic—smile. 


	11. Chapter 11

Dean

Dean had found that he had actually been having fun spending time with Deb. He wasn’t really one for relationships, but she was proving to be a great distraction.

On that first drunken night, Dean had told Deb what he did for a living. She took it in stride, which was pretty surprising. However, it had made his life a little easier not having to come up with lies all the time.

Deb was hot, and she was nice. They had been sleeping together almost every night, which had been great, obviously.

Except…

Dean couldn’t help but think of you, like, all the time when he was spending time with Deb. You seemed to really like her, and you were super nice to her, which didn’t surprise him. You were always nice.

He knew it wasn’t a good thing that he found himself fantasizing about you when he was with Deb. He kept telling himself to focus on her, not you, so that he could forget about you. You obviously weren’t interested in him, and you seemed to be happy for his newfound relationship.

That’s why he thought it would be good to have Deb around as much as possible. That way you wouldn’t suspect any feelings other than friendship from Dean. The four of you had been spending time together, going out to dinner and the bar.

One night, you had all gone to a diner to grab some dinner. Dean sat next to Deb, who seemed to be feeling pretty affectionate by the way she was nibbling on his ear all night. You and Sam sat across from them in the booth, Sam eating a salad like usual and you picking at a BLT.

When you got back home, Dean and Deb headed toward Dean’s room, saying goodnight to you and Sam and walking down the hall.

“Hey, I’ll be there in a sec,” Dean said, stopping just before his bedroom. “I think I left my jacket in Baby.”

“Don’t be too long,” Deb said before closing the bedroom door. Dean walked back down the hall but quieted his footfalls as he heard murmuring coming from the kitchen. He peeked around the corner, immediately wishing he hadn’t.

You and Sam were standing in the kitchen. Sam had your face in his hands, and he was looking deeply into your eyes before pulling you in for a hug.

Dean pulled himself back around the corner and walked quickly to the bathroom. Once closed inside, he slid his back down the wall and sat on the floor.

_Sam and Y/N?_

He felt a mixture of overwhelming jealousy and heartbreak.

I guess I only have myself to blame. I didn’t tell her how I feel, and now she’s with Sam.

He was surprised that Sam would go after you when a few days prior he had accused Dean of having feelings for you. But, as much as it hurt, he knew that you could do much worse than his brother.

Dean stood up, taking a deep breath and hardening his facial expressions.

_I guess I was right to start this thing with Debbie._

—-

You

It had been a particularly difficult night spent with Dean and Deb.

She had been all over him at the diner, and you felt sick to your stomach at the sight. When you got home, they rushed off to Dean’s room. Sam followed you into the kitchen, knowing you weren’t doing well.

“I hate him, Sam.”

“No, you don’t,” he replied, shaking his head at you.

You sighed. “I know.”

“Listen, Y/N, it’s gonna be okay. I know Dean, and I know that he’s not as invested in this thing with Deb as he acts.”

“But Sam, what’s the difference? If it’s not Deb, it’ll be some other girl. He’s never going to want me, and I just need to get over it or…”

“Or what?” Sam asked cautiously.

You sighed again and closed your eyes before looking back at him. “Or I’ll have to leave again.”

Sam grabbed your face, looking in your eyes. He was clearly searching for any shred of evidence that you would actually want to leave again. Finding none, he pulled you to him, hugging you.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he whispered. “We’ll get through this, okay? I’m not losing any more family.”

You smiled into his shoulder before pulling back. “Thanks, Sammy. I’m sorry to be such a downer.”

“You’re not. And if Dean can’t see what a wonderful woman you are, then he’s even more dumb than I thought.”

—

The next morning, the four of you gathered in the kitchen for breakfast.

“You guys have a good night?” You asked Dean. He merely grunted in response, not really looking at you. It struck you as odd, but you just figured he was tired.

“So Dean, you wanna go check out that case upstate with us today?” Sam asked.

Dean looked at same with what could only be described as a ‘bitch face.’ “Are you sure you two don’t want to go by yourselves? Get some alone time?”

You and Sam looked at each other with matching confused expressions. “What are you talking about?” Sam asked.

“You know what? Never mind. I’m gonna go shower,” Dean said, storming out of the room.

You and Sam looked to Deb who shook her head. “He’s been like this ever since we got home last night. I don’t know what his problem is.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. He just gets moody sometimes,” you said, trying to ease her worries.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. I’m gonna head out, you guys. Thanks for breakfast, Y/N.” Deb left, and you and Sam sat puzzled at the table.

“Did we do something to make him feel left out?” You asked. You knew that you and Sam had been spending a lot of time together, but it was only because Dean was always with Deb.

“Maybe. I mean, he has his moods sometimes, but he’s not usually so...sensitive.” Sam said.

You shook your head. “Well, whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll get over it.” You took your dishes to the sink and began washing, still puzzled by Dean’s outburst.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean

Dean had been pulling himself away from Deb lately. He liked her and all, but he was having trouble keeping his emotions in check when it came to the thought of you and Sam together.

Deb tried reaching out to him and getting him to talk. But what was he supposed to say? _Oh, I’m just insanely jealous of my brother and Y/N because I secretly want to be with her?_

No way in hell.

He wasn’t even sure that what he felt was real. For all he knew, he could just be attracted to you physically. Of course, he did also love your personality. And laugh...okay, maybe he was kidding himself.

What the fuck was he supposed to do, though? If you were with his brother, there was no way he would stand in the way of you. Sammy deserved to be happy. He was kinda pissed that you were hiding it from him though.

“Hey, where’s Deb?” Sam asked, poking his head into Dean’s room. Dean was sitting on his bed, his laptop open in front of him.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Dean replied shortly without looking up. He knew he was acting like a dick, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Okay dude, what is your problem lately?” Sam asked, stepping further into the room with his arms crossed.

“Uh, I have no problem,” he said in the same tone, finally looking at his brother.

“Yeah, you do. So whatever it is, why don’t you just tell me? Cause you’ve been treating Y/N and I like shit lately and neither of us know why. Not to mention Deb, who doesn’t know why either.”

“Oh, so now you’re talking to Deb behind my back? What, you all get together and talk about what’s wrong with me that day?” Dean asked.

Sam looked at Dean with a mixture of confusion and anger on his face. “What, you think I’m trying to steal your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. And besides, I’m sure you have your hands full enough with Y/N,” Dean closed his laptop and stormed out past Sam and down the hall.

“Dean. Dean, stop!” Sam shoved Dean from behind. Dean whirled around, his face etched with anger.

“That’s what this is about? You think I’m in a relationship with Y/N?” Sam asked, unbelieving.

“Yeah, not that you’ve told me,” Dean said, getting in Sam’s face. “I saw you two the other night! I thought we were brothers. I thought we told each other things!”

“Okay, first of all, I don’t know what you saw, but I’m not with Y/N. And secondly, even if I was, what’s it to you? You’ve been spending all your time with Deb, and Y/N has definitely noticed.” Sam explained, poking Dean hard in the chest as he spoke.

“You—you’re not?” Dean asked, surprised.

“No. Y/N is like a sister to me, and that would be weird. Plus, I’m not a complete jerk. I wouldn’t go after her when I know you have feelings for her.” Sam said, his face softening a bit.

“N-no I don’t,” Dean said, trying his best to lie.

“Yes, you do. And even though it’s not me, if you don’t make a move soon, you’ll lose her to someone else.” With that Sam turned and walked back down the hall, closing himself in his room and leaving Dean dumbfounded.

—-

You

All was quiet in the bunker, which you took advantage of by getting some reading done in the library. After a while, you heard the fluttering of wings behind you, causing you to jump up and turn around, an angel blade at the ready.

“Cas!”

“Y/N,” Castiel said, immediately launching himself forward and into your arms.

“Whoa, hey there,” you said hugging the angel back tightly. You hadn’t seen Cas since before you left the boys. When you had, he was definitely not this affectionate.

Cas pulled back and looked into your eyes, his hands on your shoulders.

“I am so sorry, Y/N. I should have been there to heal you both times you were attacked. I was indisposed.”

“It’s okay, Cas. I’m fine. See?” You spun a small circle for him. He chuckled a little, but then narrowed his eyes.

“Yes, but what about the scars? And the pain in your leg?” He asked.

“I’m fine. Really,” you said, giving him a small smile. He walked up to you and placed a hand on your cheek.

You felt warmth flow from the spot and you closed your eyes. After a moment, both the lingering pain from the damage in your leg and any residual pain from the last attack were gone. You opened your eyes and lifted your shirt.

“I am unable to heal the scars. I’m sorry,” Cas said. He did look genuinely pained by this, and you felt bad for him.

“Cas, you did enough, really. I feel so much better.” You looked at him again and saw the guilt in his eyes. “C’mon, let’s go tell the boys you’re back!”

—

When you and Cas turned the corner into the hallway, you saw that Dean was standing in the middle, his shoulders slumped.

“Dean, look who’s back!” You said. He turned around at the sound of your voice and his expression was unreadable. You thought maybe you saw...longing? Regardless, his face soon lit up in one of your favorite smiles, the kind that made his eyes crinkle up.

“Cas? Where the hell you been, man?” He asked, giving him a hug and big clap on the back.

“Cas is here?” Sam said, poking his head out of his room. He gave Cas a hug that mimicked his brother’s.

“Yes, I’m back. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. We had a rogue angel trying to take over heaven. It was...a mess. One that I’m glad is over,” Cas explained.

“Well man, we’re glad you’re back. How ‘bout we go get some food to celebrate and catch up?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “Sure. Although, do you mind if I ask you a question first?”

“Shoot,” Dean said.

Cas looked back and forth between you and Dean. “How long have you and Y/N been in love with one another?”


	13. Chapter 13

You

The three of you stood in shock at Cas’s words.

“Wha-what are you talking about, Cas? We’re not in love with each other,” you said nervously. You knew Dean didn’t feel that way about you, and you weren’t about to let Cas out you.

“No? I’m getting very strong vibes. Maybe my senses are off,” Cas said, scrunching his eyebrows.

“Yeah, they must be...cause obviously there’s nothing between us.” Dean looked at you with a bit of a questioning face, almost as if he was asking you if you agreed.

“Right,” you said.

“Oh for the love of God,” Sam said, exasperated. “Cas, let’s go catch up in the library. You two,” he said, pointing at both you and Dean, “talk. Now.”

With that he pulled a confused Castiel down the hall and out of sight, leaving you and Dean standing awkwardly facing each other.

“So…” you began, unsure of what to say.

“So…” Dean repeated. “Cas is being crazy, right?” He chuckled.

“Yeah,” you said, smiling. “Obviously you are crazy about Deb. Maybe that was what he was picking up on.”

“Yeah.” Dean’s eyes shifted around. “You obviously don’t have any feelings for me...right?”

“R-right,” you said. Dean smiled tightly, and you knew you needed to get away before you broke down. “Glad we got that cleared up,” you said, brushing past him. You power-walked to your room and closed the door behind you, sitting down on your bed.

_That was my chance to tell him how I feel. At least then it would be out there, and I could just leave if he rejected me._

You let your head fall into your hands. _What a disaster._

You heard a light knock on your door. You opened it, and found a pair of intense green eyes looking back at you.

In seconds, he had you in his arms, closed the door, and pushed you up against it, his hungry lips finding yours.

You were only shocked for a moment before you were kissing him back. You let your hands slide up his arms and grasp his short hair. His hands were on your hips and you felt him use them to lift you up, your back against the door and your legs wrapped around his waist.

Part of you was afraid. What if this was some kind of weird reaction to what Cas said, not actually what he feels?

You pushed that thought away almost immediately as Dean’s lips left yours and began to travel down your neck. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, and your breath was coming in sharp gasps.

You could feel Dean’s hard length grinding into your warm center. You had never felt the kind of wanting you were feeling now, and it was so intense it almost hurt.

Dean suddenly turned you around and gently threw you on the bed. You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as he took off his shirt. His body was damn-near perfect, and you licked your lips at the sight of his rippling muscles.

When Dean saw that, he made a sound deep in his throat that was almost a growl. He lunged forward, caging you in with his arms. Then his lips were on yours again, with urgency mirroring that of someone who was having their last kiss ever.

He broke away from you and ran his hands down your front, grazing your breasts and stomach until he reached the hem of your shirt. He pulled it up and you lifted your arms. When it was off, he looked down at you, taking in the sight of you in just your bra.

You suddenly felt self-conscious, remembering the scars that marred your body. You wrapped your arms around yourself, looking at Dean in embarrassment.

Dean shook his head, pulling your arms away from your stomach and pinning them above you. “Don’t,” he said with intensity. His green eyes bore into yours as he said, “You are perfect.”

Your breath left you in a whoosh, and you felt your eyes well up with tears. That was the aspect of yourself that you felt most insecure about. That he still found you attractive even with the scars everywhere gave you a confidence you hadn’t felt in a long time.

You took your hands from his grasp, reached behind you and unclasped your bra. You slid it down your arms until your breasts were bare before him. Your nipples hardened at the chill of the air.

Dean sucked in a breath at the sight of you. You knew he had never seen your breasts before, and that it was probably shocking to see the scars that also covered them. You didn’t have time to worry about what he thought, though, because within seconds his hands and mouth were all over them.

He took a nipple into his mouth and sucked, and you arched your back at the feeling. Soon he was kissing his way down your stomach, his tongue running over every scar. He got to your jeans and began to unbutton them before sliding them and your panties off. You pushed him up and off of you, and he looked at you in confusion.

You smiled in return, reaching forward to undo his jeans for him. You pulled them down which revealed his very long and hard cock straining against his boxers. You stroked your fingers over it lazily, and Dean’s eyes closed with his quiet moan.

Dean pushed you back onto the bed after removing his boxers. He looked down at you, a look you could only describe as barely contained restraint on his face.

“I promise you that later I am going to take my time and give you all the attention you deserve,” he began, his eyes hooded, “but right now I need to fuck you.”

“Oh, God, yes,” you replied, feeling just as keyed up and eager as he did.

Seconds later Dean was sliding into you, slowly at first so you could accommodate his size. Once he was all the way in, he began moving in and out, keeping a slower pace to make sure you were okay.

You responded by moaning, the feeling of him filling you up intoxicating. You dug your nails into his back, and he responded exactly how you wanted him to: by speeding up.

You could already feel yourself tightening around him, your orgasm close. “Dean,” you said breathlessly. He gave you a quick smirk before reaching between you and rubbing your clit. Within seconds you were falling over the edge, white hot pleasure pulsing through you. Dean came shortly after, and the two of you fell back on the bed, both spent and breathing heavily.

“So…” he said, looking into your eyes as he played with your hair.

“So…” you replied, a small smile on your face.

“Cas is being crazy?” He asked jokingly.

“No,” you said, your smile growing. “I don’t think he is.”


	14. Chapter 14

Dean

Charlie whined outside your room and Dean got up quietly, not wanting to wake you. He slipped on his pants and quietly opened the door, scratching the dog on the head in greeting.

“C’mon, boy,” Dean said, patting his leg. Charlie followed him down the hall and up the stairs to the bunker’s entrance, where Dean let him out to go to the bathroom and run around for a while.

Dean came back down the stairs and into the kitchen, a smile on his face that he couldn’t seem to get rid of. Sam was sitting at the kitchen table and took in Dean’s shirtless body before raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“It’s about damn time,” he said, laughing.

“Shut up, bitch,” Dean said, twisting off the cap of a beer.

“Jerk,” Sam replied. Dean could tell he was happy for him, though.

“Where’s Cas?” Dean asked, wanting to change the subject before his brother made fun of him more.

“He flew out of here to go get us some grub. We figured the two of you may not be up for going anywhere,” Sam explained.

Dean rolled his eyes and heard the flutter of wings behind him as he did. Cas had returned, bags of food in his hands.

“Dean, I am very sorry if I said something I shouldn’t have,” Cas said, setting the bags on the table.

“It’s fine, Cas. You just said what neither of us were brave enough to say.”

Cas smiled. “I’ll never understand the human penchant for lying about feelings.”

“Yeah, well some of us don’t just spit out exactly what we’re thinking 24/7,” Dean said, opening a bag and grabbing a burger.

“Yes, I suppose that can be unsettling to most humans,” he replied. He didn’t eat anything, saying it would just taste like ‘molecules’ anyway, but sat at the table with the brothers all the same.

“Mmm, that smells amazing,” you said, coming around the corner into the kitchen. You were wearing clothes again, but Dean’s mouth nearly watered at the sight of you. You were wearing some short pajama shorts, a tank top, and Dean’s flannel shirt over the top. You looked so cute and sexy that Dean wanted to just grab you and throw you back in bed again.

“Come dig in,” Sam said. He was trying not to laugh at you, and Dean noticed you give him a little shove, a blush creeping up your neck.

_God, everything she does is adorable._

The four of you ate and talked for the rest of the night. There was laughter everywhere, and Dean finally felt like everything was right again.

In the back of his mind, though, he knew that good things never lasted for him. It was only a matter of time until something ruined it all. He pushed the thought even further down, though, just wanting to be happy as long as it lasted.

—

You

You rolled over, getting a face-full of dog hair. You pulled your face back, picking tiny hairs off your lips.

“Really, Charlie? Every morning?” You said groggily. You propped yourself up on your elbow and looked next to you.

Charlie was facing you, and his back was snuggled into Dean, like they were spooning.

“Oh, for the love…” You laid back down, annoyed at your lack of space.

You and Dean had been sleeping in the same bed for the last few nights. Charlie started out every night in his bed you put on the floor. Somehow, though, when you woke in the morning, he had always wedged his way between you and Dean. Sure, it was cute at first, but now he seemed to be snuggling with Dean more and more, and you were starting to get jealous.

_Jealous of a damn dog._

You got out of bed and padded your way down the hall with bare feet to the showers. You turned on the water, let it warm up, and stripped down before stepping in. The water felt great, and you stood under the water for a few minutes before you even touched the soap.

“Hi there.”

You jumped a little before turning around to see that Dean had joined you in the shower.

“Hi yourself,” you said, placing your hands on his shoulders and leaning in for a kiss.

“Mmm…” he hummed, his lips still on yours. He deepened the kiss, and you let him. His hands slid down your slick body before cupping your breasts. You could tell that he was taking things slow, like he had promised. Since the first time you slept together, each time after had been just as passionate. It was great, but you were also all about savoring it.

Dean guided you back so you were up against the wall of the shower. He slowly bent down until he was kneeling, kissing your body the entire way. He gently spread your legs apart before putting his mouth on your hot center, causing you to moan.

You grasped onto his hair, your head falling back against the wall. He lapped through your folds before sucking your clit into his mouth. You could feel your orgasm building quickly.

“Dean…” you said breathlessly.

“I know, sweetheart,” he said, his voice sending vibrations through you. “Let me take care of you.”

Seconds later you were coming, Dean continuing to swirl his tongue around your clit until it became sensitive. After a few moments, you lifted his chin so he was looking at you, urging him to stand up.

You switched places with him, pushing him against the shower wall aggressively. He smiled at that, and you knelt down with a smirk on your face.

He was already hard, and you pumped your hand up and down his shaft a few times before taking him into your mouth. He moaned out your name and ran his fingers into your hair.

You took him in your mouth as far as you could, then started moving up and down faster. Dean was gasping above you, his eyes closed with a look of bliss on his face. It wasn’t long before he reached his climax, his legs shaking with the effort.

You stood up and the two of you finally finished your shower, taking your time washing each other and feeling every part of each other’s body. 


	15. Chapter 15

Dean

You were on fire. Dean watched as you took out your third werewolf in a row, and he was extremely impressed.

“Nice,” Sam said, giving you a high five. You walked over to Dean, tilting your head while trying to read his expression.

“You okay?” You asked.

Dean pursed his lips and nodded. “Impressed, actually.”

“It’s not like you haven’t seen me hunt before,” you said, an eyebrow raised.

“True. But now you’re mine,” he said, pulling you into his side. “ _My_ girl is kicking ass and taking names.”

You rolled your eyes at him before standing on your tiptoes and kissing him lightly.

“You’re cute,” you said.

“Ugh, get a room,” Sam said, walking past the two of you. Dean smacked him upside the head, and soon they were wrestling and laughing.

“Alright, break it up. I’d like to get home and wash off the werewolf blood,” you said, pushing the brothers apart.

The three of you walked toward the car. Sam got in, and as Dean was fishing his keys out of his pocket and you were reaching for the door handle, you were suddenly falling. Dean heard a loud thump from where you were standing.

“Y/N? Y/N!”

Dean ran to the passenger side of the car and knelt down next to where you had fallen. Sam scrambled out of the car to join him.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled, shaking you. You didn’t stir. It seemed like you had fainted, but Dean couldn’t be sure. Sam placed two fingers to your neck.

“She’s got a pulse,” he said. Dean pulled you into his arms. Your breathing was steady and even, almost as if you were sleeping.

“What the hell is going on?” Dean asked, his brow furrowed with worry.

“I don’t know, man, but we better get her in the car and get out of here before someone comes by.”

Dean lifted you up in his arms and laid you down in the backseat. He drove back to the bunker, his eyes almost never leaving the rear view mirror and his knuckles white.

—-

You

You were standing in the middle of a suburban street. Houses surrounded you, mostly ranch-style. It was dark, and the streetlights were few and far between.

Something about the stretch of street seemed familiar. You turned in a circle, trying to remember how you got here and why you were alone. Nothing came to mind, so you decided to start walking.

You felt a small pull in your body that led you down the road until you were standing in front of a one-story house. It had blue siding, it was unkempt, and it looked dark.

Realization slammed into you, causing your knees to buckle. Your breath came in gasps, the memory of this house causing a panic attack. You knew why everything looked familiar. This was the house you were held in against your will for weeks. This was the house where you were raped and tortured.

_How the hell did I get here?_ You thought desperately.

After a few moments, you tried to slow your breathing, urging it to return to normal so you could figure out your next steps.

You stood shakily to your feet, never taking your eyes off the house. It was eerily quiet. Even so, you were having trouble gathering your thoughts.

“Help!! Help me!”

Your eyes snapped to the window on the right side of the house, your body jumping in surprise. In the window there was a girl that looked to be about your age. She was slamming her hands against the window, begging you for help. You tried to run towards the house, but it seemed that every step you took left you further than when you started.

You were sprinting, trying your hardest to get to the front door. You watched the girl in the window—saw the glint of hope in her eyes.

Then she was gone.

She had been snatched from behind, screaming as she was pulled further into the house.

You tried to keep running, but suddenly the ground was gone and you were falling.

It was only seconds before you hit the bottom, everything turning black.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean

Dean sat by your side as he waited for you to wake. He held your tiny hand in his, giving it a small kiss every now and then.

He and Sam had brought you home and placed you on your bed. As far as they could tell, you were just sleeping. They weren’t sure why or how it happened. One second you were fine, and the next you were on the ground asleep.

Dean rested his head on the bed, his hand still in yours. He wanted to stay awake for you, to make sure you were going to be okay—but he could feel himself being pulled under by his exhaustion.

Suddenly, you breathed in a huge gasp, your top half shooting up to a sitting position on the bed.

“Y/N? Y/N! Look at me, you’re okay!” Dean shouted, taking your face in his hands. Your eyes finally landed on his, your breath still coming in gasps. Tears leaked down your face as you stared wildly at Dean.

“We have to help her!” You yelled, struggling against Dean’s hold to get out of the bed. Dean had no idea who you were talking about, and he didn’t want to let you go. He wasn’t sure what you had just been through.

“Who? Who do we have to help?” Dean asked, trying to get you to look at him again. Sam ran into the room then, a panicked look on his face.

“What’s going on?” He asked

“We have to go to her! She’s trapped! She’s trapped and he’s hurting her!” You continued yelling.

“Y/N, sweetheart, you have to calm down. We don’t know what you’re talking about!” Dean said, his hands stroking your head in an effort to soothe you.

After a few moments, your breathing slowed. Your voice, however, retained the same level of panic.

“I-I was there. I saw it. He has a girl inside...we have to get her out of there. We can’t let him do to her what he did to me!”

“Okay, okay. We’ll help her. You just have to tell us where you mean,” Sam said calmly. He was always better at handling hysterics.

“Yeah, where is she, darlin’?” Dean asked, his eyes searching yours.

“She’s where...she’s where I was tortured and raped.”

—-

You

Nothing had ever felt as real or as terrifying as the real thing than the dream had. In fact, you knew it was more than a dream—it had to have been a vision.

That was why you were so adamant with the boys about going there. If there was even the slightest possibility that he was back there and hurting that girl like he hurt you, he had to be stopped.

Naturally, Dean had questioned the whole thing.

“How do we know this is real, that it wasn’t just some nightmare?” He asked. He was trying to be gentle about it, but you knew he was feeling skeptical.

“It’s not like I often just fall asleep standing up, Dean. It had to have been a vision.”

“Man, we’ve gone on less. Remember when I had those dreams about that family living in our old house? Those turned out to be true.” Sam was on your side, having had a similar experience.

“Yeah, and I get that. But why in the world would that dick show back up to the place he almost got caught? He would have to be a complete idiot!” Dean said. He took the bag you had been holding in your hand and loaded it into the trunk. Clearly he was still going to go.

_Leave it to Dean to argue just for arguments’ sake._

“I don’t know, Dean,” you said, wrapping your arms around him after he closed the trunk. “I just know what I saw, and I know that I can’t ignore it.”

Dean sighed a little before weaving his fingers through your hair and giving you a soft kiss. “Well, if you say so...I trust you.”

You smiled, breaking away from the embrace. “Then let’s go! Also, Sammy,” you said, turning to the moose, “shotgun!” You raced to the front of the car and got in the front seat, closing and locking your door.

“What are you, twelve?” Sam asked as he folded his long body into the backseat. You turned around and stuck your tongue out at him in response.

Soon you were on the road, your fingers laced with Dean’s. Though you had crazy butterflies in your stomach, you knew what you were doing was the right thing. You just hoped you weren’t too late.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter tonight just for fun :)

You

You stood in a nearly empty room facing a bed. The same girl you had seen in your dream was strapped to it, her wrists and ankles rubbed raw from the restraints. There was a gag in her mouth, and her eyes were glazed over, devoid of emotion.

You rushed up to her, reaching to untie her. When you tried, though, your hand went right through the ropes. It was as if you were a ghost.

“No, no!” You yelled. You were sure that this was real. You looked at the girl again. She was pretty with dark hair and eyes. Her skin was much too pale, and if she hadn’t blinked, you’d have thought she was dead.

“We’re coming to help you, I promise,” you said to the girl, kneeling beside the bed. Her eyes didn’t move or focus on you.

Suddenly, she began to thrash around. She pulled at the restraints, ripping open her wounds and causing her to bleed. You stood and followed her wild gaze to the bedroom door.

Brad stood in the doorway, his favorite knife hanging limply from his hand. His eyes were on the girl, sizing up his prey.

His eyes flicked from the girl to you. You looked around you, thinking there was no way he could see you.

“Y/N...I’ve missed you,” he said in his snake-like voice.

“Let her go, you bastard!” You yelled. Brad ignored you, walking slowly closer. You tried to back away, but found your feet were glued to the spot.

Just inches from your face, you could smell his putrid breath as he spoke. “I know what you’re doing. I know you’re going to try to save her.”

You turned your face and closed your eyes, fear filling you at being so close to your nightmare.

“You can certainly try,” he said, sliding the cool steel of his knife down your arm. “But I will warn you...if you don’t come alone, I will kill her.”

Your eyes snapped open. “Don’t you fucking touch her.”

He smiled evilly. “Better hurry,” he said. He took both hands and shoved you as hard as he could. You fell backwards and sat up, finding yourself back in the Impala.

“You okay?” Dean asked, his worried eyes shifting from the road to you.

“Yeah. Let’s just hurry,” you said, not looking at him. You had to figure out how you were going to get the boys to let you go alone. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but as you stared at the scenery rushing past you out the window, you began to think of a plan.

—-

Dean

You had suggested stopping at a motel to get everything together that the three of you would need to end this dick. Sam and Dean were getting the weapons together in the motel when you said you were going to go out to the trunk and get some first aid supplies to bring as well. Charlie followed close at your heels, sensing your anxiety.

Dean was looking down at the guns while Sam was sharpening some blades when you came back in.

“Y/N, you can just put that stuff in this backpack. We’ll just wear it in so our hands are free,” Dean said, not looking up.

“Okay,” you said. Dean noticed you sounded a little off. He looked up to ask if you were okay.

Before he even had a chance to react, you had slapped a handcuff on each brother, connecting the other ends to the radiator.

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?!” Dean yelled. You had stepped out of reach, grabbing the weapons and backpack before turning back to him.

Dean saw that your eyes were welled up with tears. “I’m sorry, Dean. This is how I have to do it.”

Before he or Sam could argue, you and Charlie were out the door. Dean heard the sound of his baby roar to life before you peeled out of the parking lot.

“Shit!” Dean yelled, slamming his fist into the wall. Sam was trying to mess with the lock on the cuffs, but had no luck.

“Don’t worry, man. We’ll get out of this and catch up to her.” He said it with an air of certainty, and Dean was jealous. He felt anything but certain at that moment.

“Do you have your phone?” Dean asked angrily. Sam checked his pockets and found that he did. Dean sighed in relief.

“Call Cas. Now.”


	18. Chapter 18

You

You and Charlie crouched down in the bushes in front of the blue house. Terror ran like ice through your veins. Being back at this house was your biggest fear, and reliving it twice in visions didn’t help acclimate you.

The house looked dark and like it was empty. You knew from experience, though, that that was how Brad liked it. You were thankful for the cover of darkness as you stood up and ran to the side of the house, your gun at the ready. Charlie followed right next to you, almost crouching as he imitated what you were doing.

Over and over again you reminded yourself that you were a hunter, and that this time would be different. The last time you were here you were drugged heavily. Now, with your wits and strength about you, you were sure you could take Brad down easily.

Edging your way along the house, you peeked in a few windows as you passed underneath them. You couldn’t see much through the gauzy drapes that hung there, but you could see a flickering light that you assumed to be candles. You figured if Brad was trying to stay under the radar, he probably didn’t want to turn any lights on at night.

“Okay, boy, you need to stay out here. Only come in if I yell for you,” you told Charlie. He sat down in the grass, his big eyes looking up at you. You knew he only really knew the words “stay” and “yell,” but he knew what you were telling him to do. This was exactly like what you had done many times before on hunts.

You gave Charlie a quick kiss on the head, scratching behind his ears. Gun at the ready, you sneaked up the front porch and to the door. Quietly, you turned the handle and found that the door was unlocked. You entered quickly and closed the door softly.

The room was dark upon entering, the only light coming from the room you had been kept in—the room you saw the girl in during your visions. You crept as noiselessly as you could to the door that was open just a crack. Sucking in a deep breath, you pushed open the door and held your gun up, looking for its target.

“Hello, little bird.”

The man that stood before you was not Brad. In fact, there was nothing in the room—no bed, no girl...just a man. He was fairly short, at least compared to the Winchesters. He had short, thin brown hair, wore a black suit, and had a British accent. Without asking, you knew who this was.

“Hello, Crowley.”

—-

“Ah, my reputation precedes me,” Crowley said, swirling a glass of amber liquid around in his hand.

“Where is she?” You asked, still concerned for the girl in your visions.

“Oh, you sweet, stupid girl,” he replied. “There was never any girl. I concocted her myself, actually. She was based on a girl I met one night in Atlantic City. Bit of a whore, really. I planted all of that in your pretty little head.”

Realization hit you hard.

_There was never a girl._

_Brad was never here._

You lowered your gun. You knew the bullets in it wouldn’t do anything to Crowley anyway. “What do you want, Crowley?”

“Oh, come, now. Can’t we at least chat a bit before we get to the main event? You hunters, always so impatient.”

You considered yelling for Charlie, but you were afraid. You knew that Crowley could kill him with the snap of his fingers.

“We can talk all you want,” you began. “The Winchesters will be here to back me up soon.” You gave him a smirk.

“Little bird, what do you take me for?” Crowley asked, rolling his eyes. “I am the one that told you to come alone, remember? And I know those brutes wouldn’t have let you come alone willingly. My guess is that they are indisposed at the moment.”

_Shit_. You had forgotten that it was his idea to have you come alone. You knew that there was no way you were getting out of this. Crowley was going to take you somewhere so he could use you as leverage to get something he wanted.

“Why don’t you just tell me what you want so we can avoid the whole charade of kidnapping me?” You asked, feeling annoyed but also desperate.

Crowley feigned hurt. “What makes you think I want anything more than your company?”

You scoffed. “That would be a first.”

Crowley walked closer to you, his face only inches from yours. “A first it is,” he said, stroking a finger down your cheek. You felt nauseous at his touch, but tried hard to focus. If Crowley was going to take you, you had to leave the boys a clue as to where you were. Otherwise they would just think you were taken by Brad.

“Well, if that’s the case, then why don’t you give me a drink before we go?” You tried your hardest to sound calm and collected so he wouldn’t notice what you were doing.

“Be my guest,” he said, handing you his glass of whiskey. You drank almost all of it, the harsh liquid stinging your throat as it went down.

“Guess I won’t be needing this stuff,” you said, gesturing to your backpack and weapons.

“I shouldn’t think so. Those won’t hurt me anyway,” Crowley responded. You turned and sat the glass down on the floor before taking off your backpack and placing it in front of it so it was blocking any view of the glass.

“Well, let’s get on with it,” you said, turning to him and placing your hands on your hips. As you hoped, Crowley smiled, having forgotten about the glass. He snapped his fingers and you were gone.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Dean

Thank God Cas had answered his phone. It was rare when he did, that was for sure. When Dean had explained what happened, Cas had popped over to the motel and destroyed the handcuffs with a flick of his wrist.

“Thanks, Cas,” Sam said, rubbing his wrist.

“It’s no problem. Now, where is Y/N?” Cas asked, his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“She went back to Brad’s house without us,” Sam explained.

“Why would she leave you here?” Cas asked.

“We don’t know, Cas. All I know is that we need to get there. Now.” Dean was not in the mood for chit chat. Dean knew that you were a capable hunter, and that Brad shouldn’t be much of a problem for you. However, he had a bad feeling he couldn’t shake. Something about all this wasn’t right.

Castiel reached out and grasped the brothers’ shoulders. “Let’s go.”

—-

When they arrived, Charlie was sitting on the front porch alone, whining at the door. When they went in, he sniffed around frantically looking for you.

Empty. The entire house was empty. There was no way Brad had been living there.

“Dean!” Sam called from one of the bedrooms.

Dean ran into the room, gun at the ready. He stopped when he saw Sam standing in the middle of the vacant room, next to the backpack you had taken from the motel.

“Shit, her stuff is here. Where is she?” Dean asked, kneeling down to look at it.

“I found this behind the backpack,” Sam said. Dean swiveled to look up at him. He was holding a crystal glass, a small amount of what looked to be whiskey still in it.

“Crowley,” Cas said, entering the room.

“Exactly,” Sam agreed. “It was almost hidden behind the backpack.”

“Our girl left us a clue,” Dean said. Though he was still worried about you, he almost wanted to smile. You were smart. Crowley may think he has you under his control, but Dean knew you would put up a hell of a fight.

“How are we going to find her?” Sam asked.

“Crowley will surely have warded against me and most avenues we could use to find her. We’re going to have to try to outsmart him,” Cas replied.

Dean’s hatred for the King of Hell only grew with each passing second. He would find you, and he would tear that demon piece of shit a new one. He turned to the other men, his face grave.

“Let’s get to work.”

—-

You

Everything in Crowley’s space was layered in extravagance. As far as being kidnapped went, this was definitely the better of your two experiences.

No matter how extravagant it was, though, it couldn’t overshadow the fact that you were trapped by a vile demon with a God-complex.

You had done your best not to panic. You knew the boys would find a way to get to you. You also knew, though, that it might take some time. Crowley was awful, but he wasn’t stupid. He had warded the place with anything and everything he could, including some sigils you had never seen before.

Until the boys could get you, you decided to treat Crowley as if he wasn’t ruining your life. So far he hadn’t done anything to harm you, so there was no reason to provoke him.

“You’re sure there isn’t anything you want in exchange for me? I’m sure the boys would be more than willing to oblige,” you said. You were sitting on the velvet chaise that had been placed on one side of the room. When you had arrived, Crowley had made you change out of your hunting clothes into something he considered more “fitting.” This turned out to be a dress that was in the style of a Greek goddess. It was long and flowing, the white material cascading down to your toes. The front was low-cut, with gold, intricate beading under your breasts. The same beading formed the straps that went up on your shoulders with more draping over your shoulders.

“No, my pet. When I saw you with those hunting buffoons for the first time, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Granted, I saw you through the eyes of one of my demons, but I was correct in my assumption that you would be even better in person.” Crowley walked toward you, two glasses of wine in his hands. He handed you one before sitting next to you and placing his hand on your knee. You had to actively try to not roll your eyes.

“You see, when I see things of great beauty, I have to have them.” His hand slid up your leg a bit. “Those two wouldn’t know what to do with someone like you anyway.”

You wanted to argue with him, to tell him that Dean was the best thing to ever happen to you—but you knew it wouldn’t help anything.

You were starting to get a little nervous. “Well...w-what do you want from me?”

“Don’t you worry about that, little bird. We have all the time in the world. Although, I’m sure those monkeys will be trying to get you back. We’ll just have to deal with that as it comes.” Crowley took a sip of his wine.

You looked down at yours, contemplating if you wanted to drink it. It was unlikely he did anything to it, as he was treating you so well. You’d been burned in the past, though.

“There isn’t anything wrong with it. I may be a demon, but I wouldn’t make you relive that part of your life,” Crowley said. You looked up at him, and he looked sincere. You wondered why the King of Hell was being so nice to you. Then, you saw his eyes scan up and down your body.

_That’s why._

“You’re taking all this very well. I hope you do realize, pet, that I’m not an idiot.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” You asked.

“I mean I know you’re either planning to escape, or hoping the flannel twins will get you out of here. It’s not going to happen, so you may as well let go of that now,” Crowley said, getting up to refill his wine. No matter what he said, you weren’t going to let Crowley crush your hope. You’d been there before, and living without hope was much worse than the alternative.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You asked. You were wary of Crowley. This was not how he usually acted.

He sat down next to you again, placing his wine glass on the ground and taking yours as well. He placed his hands on your cheeks, one hand tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m being so nice because I take care of the things I care about.” His thumb stroked your cheek gently. “And I will treat you like this until you give me a reason not to—until you break my trust.”

His words had a definite edge to them, and there was an unspoken threat that came with them. You felt your eyes well up, frustrated at the situation you were in. Crowley looked into your eyes, waiting for a response.

You slowly nodded your head, reminding yourself again that Dean wouldn’t let you stay there forever.


	20. Chapter 20

Dean

“ _Ugh, I hate you,” you said with a smile on your face that you were trying to hide._

_“Oh, yeah? I don’t think so,” Dean said, inching closer to you with his hands outstretched. He had just used the little sprayer on the sink to splash you with water while the two of you did dishes._

_Dean rushed forward and grabbed you, moving his fingers to the spot on your sides that he knew were most ticklish._

_“Dean, stop!” You yelled between gasping laughs. “I’m gonna pee my pants!”_

_Dean stopped and pulled you in, kissing your still smiling mouth._

_“You know this means war,” you said, pulling back from him a bit._

_“Yeah, and I’ll still win,” Dean said cockily._

_Suddenly your face lost all laughter and became blank._

_“Dean, what are you doing? Why haven’t you found me yet?” You asked._

_“I-I’m trying. Crowley is using magic to hide you,” Dean said, guilt taking over his body._

_You shook your head slowly. “You’re too late.” Dean watched as the image of your body sort of flickered. When it was solid again, your throat had been sliced. Blood gushed from your neck and mouth, and you collapsed, gasping for air around all the blood._

_“No, Y/N! No!!”_

Dean screamed and shot up in his bed. He was drenched in sweat, and his heart was beating wildly. He got out of bed and nearly ran to the library, ripping open his laptop.

“Dean? What are you doing? It’s four in the morning,” Sam said, coming around the corner and rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“I have to find her, Sammy. Who knows what shit Crowley has done to her by now, if she’s even alive? If she is, I have to get her out of there. I’m not going to stop until we find her.”

“Dean, we’re gonna find her. Running yourself ragged isn’t going to help in the long-run though. We need to stay sharp and you need to sleep,” Sam said, slowly pushing the laptop away from Dean.

Dean hung his head, running his hands over his face. “How can I, Sammy, when every time I close my eyes all I see is her dying?”

“It’s Crowley. He’ll make his demands soon. And you know he won’t kill her unless his demands aren’t met,” Sam said softly.

Dean sighed. “I hope you’re right.” He stood up from the table and Sam followed him to the hallway. Dean turned left however, heading for the garage.

“I thought you were going to bed?” Sam asked, stopping Dean.

“I will. I just need to clear my head first. I’m going for a drive.”

“Okay. Just be careful,” Sam said, sighing in defeat.

“I will,” Dean replied quietly—and he meant it. Finding you wouldn’t be any easier if he were dead.

—-

You

You leaned back in the tub, letting the warm water envelop your body. The bathroom off the room you were staying was just as extravagant as the rest. There was a big jacuzzi tub, and you were delighted to get to take a bath. You used to love baths, but dirty motel bathrooms didn’t really lend themselves for such an activity.

You had used tons of bubble bath, and the suds were all around you, covering your whole body. You were just a head floating in the water. You breathed in deep, letting all your troubles fade.

The last few days had been strange. More and more you found yourself coming to resent the Winchesters, especially Dean. How long had you been here? Why weren’t they trying to find you?

Maybe Dean never really cared about you. Maybe they were better off without you dragging them down.

Whatever their reason, as your hatred grew for them, your appreciation of the King of Hell did the same.

Crowley treated you like a queen. He made sure you were always happy, and had been nothing but a gentleman.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door. Without asking, you knew who it was. “Come in,” you said softly. You lifted your toes out of the water and wiggled them around a bit, resting your foot on the edge of the tub.

“Is everything to your liking, little bird?” Crowley asked.

You smiled in response. You could see the lust in Crowley’s eyes, the look of desire for what lay beneath the bubbles.

“I’m a little lonely. You’re gone an awful lot.”

“I’m sorry, pet. Not still thinking about those Winchesters, are you?” He asked casually. Something pulled at your mind when he said the name, but you ignored it.

“They never treated me like this. They didn’t even care enough to try to find me,” you said. The words felt weird in your mouth, but again you ignored the feeling.

“That’s right,” Crowley said as he sat on the wide edge of the tub. “Those idiots could never care for you the way I can.” He ran his fingers into the warm water. “Speaking of, how would you like to have a nice dinner with me tonight? I have an amazing chef that sold his soul to me. Now he’s on retainer,” he said with a wink.

“That sounds perfect,” you said. You felt Crowley’s fingers run over your knee under the water. The feeling sent a small jolt through you, and you found yourself feeling giddy at the thought of spending the evening with him.

“A new dress is hanging in the closet. I’ll see you in an hour,” he said. He got up and left the room, but not before turning to eye you one more time.

Once he was gone you smiled and giggled to yourself. You closed your eyes for a moment. The same foreboding feeling kept trying to creep up, but you pushed it down. Crowley was amazing, and you were going to show him how you felt about him after dinner.


	21. Chapter 21

You

The steak medallion you had was the best cut of meat you had ever tasted. It was cooked to utter perfection.

“That was amazing,” you said as you walked hand-in-hand with Crowley down the long hall to your room. Sure, you were a prisoner, but it didn’t feel like it. If anything this was the best you had ever lived.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he responded as you stopped in front of the door. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it, sending butterflies through you.

You bit your lip. “Are you going to come in for a little bit?” You asked innocently.

An evil smirk appeared on Crowley’s face. “I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.”

The two of you entered the room and Crowley headed straight to the small bar at one side of the room to make you drinks. You were feeling bold and confident, more so than you ever had before. You walked over to the bed and turned to face his back. You slowly slipped the straps of the beautiful red dress he had provided you over your shoulders. The flowy material dropped down your body, pooling at your feet. You stood in the black, lacy bra and panties you had underneath, your heels still on.

“How would you like a night cap, my dear?” Crowley asked, picking up the two glasses from the bar and turning around. When he saw you he took a deep breath in, his eyes narrowing in lust. “Or not,” he said, setting the glasses back down.

He stalked toward you, not slowing down until he reached you, his lips crashing into yours. He immediately backed you up, and the backs of your knees hit the bed, sending you on your back. Crowley’s lips left yours and he worked his way down your neck, kissing and biting.

A flash of something ran through you, causing panic to shake you to your core. Almost as quickly as it came, it was gone, and before you could explore the feeling Crowley’s hands were on your breasts, squeezing and pinching. The bit of pain it caused was actually extremely arousing.

Crowley pulled back from you for a moment, looking down at you. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Y-yes,” you said. You felt weird saying it, like inside you might not be as sure. You ignored it again, pulling him back to you. You weren’t going to let some weird feelings stop you from doing what you wanted to do.

—-

Dean

The numbers “666” appeared on Dean’s phone as it rang, and he jumped up to answer it, putting it on speaker for Sam and Cas to hear.

“Crowley I swear to God if you hurt her—“ he began when he answered.

“Oh calm down, squirrel, she’s fine,” Crowley replied. Fury flowed through Dean’s veins.

“Well what the fuck do you want? Whatever it is, we’ll make a deal and you can give Y/N back to us.”

“Oh I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” Crowley responded.

Panic threatened to choke Dean. “What?” Sam and Cas stared at the phone, waiting for an explanation as well.

“Y/N is quite happy here. She doesn’t want to come back to you. In fact, I’m not even holding her prisoner anymore.”

“I don’t believe you, you dick!” Dean yelled.

“Dean?” Your voice came through the speaker.

“Y/N, sweetheart, are you okay?” Dean asked. He was so relieved to hear your voice.

“I’m fine, Dean,” you said. Your voice was flat, as if the conversation was boring you.

“Y/N, what is he talking about? We’re going to come rescue you!”

“Dean, I don’t want to come back.”

Dean’s heart dropped. “Wh-what are you talking about? What did he do to you?” He knew there was no way you would be saying this on your own. Maybe he was holding a weapon to you. _Just say the words, Y/N. Use our code for danger._

“Crowley has been nothing but good to me. In fact, I’m in love with him.”

Dean stood in shock, unable to form words. No part of that sentence was code, and you didn’t sound like you were in danger at all.

“Goodbye, Dean. Don’t try to contact me.” _Click_.

Dean stood frozen, the phone still in his hand.

“Dean, he obviously did something to her. We’re gonna find her, don’t worry.” Sam sounded far away.

Could you really be in love with Crowley? Dean knew that he had treated people he liked well. Maybe it was taking them too long to find you. Maybe you liked how Crowley treated you.

“No.” Dean said.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Cas asked.

“If she doesn’t want to be found then we should just leave her alone. She said she’s in love with him, man.”

“Dean, she was obviously lying, or-or Crowley did something to mess with her head!” Sam said. He had grasped onto his brother’s shoulders, trying to get his gaze to focus on him.

“I don’t know, Sammy. She sounded so sure.” Dean could feel a deep depression growing. He hadn’t even been able to tell you he loved you yet.

“Hey, hey! Look at me,” Sam said, shaking Dean a little. “Don’t be an idiot. You are not giving up on the best thing that has ever happened to you that easily. And we’re not giving up on Y/N.”

Dean felt himself snap back to reality. He had let that asshole convince him that you had changed your mind. But it wasn’t true. He knew that deep down. What the two of you had was real.

Charlie whined beside him. Dean crouched down and rubbed the dog’s ears, earning him a lick on the face. “I miss her too, boy,” he told Charlie quietly.

“Okay, okay. You’re right.” Dean stood back up and grabbed his laptop. “But we need to find her ASAP. Who knows what he did to her and how much worse it gets by the second.”

“Guys,” Cas began, his face deep in thought, “I believe that Crowley just unwittingly gave us the answer of how to find Y/N.”

“What? How?” Dean asked.

Cas thought for a moment before nodding almost to himself. “We are going to need to find a witch.”


	22. Chapter 22

Dean

“And just why the hell would I help you three? You’ve been nothing but a danger to my kind!”

The witch they had found was not being cooperative. Cas had explained that whatever spell you were under was probably done by a witch, or at least given to Crowley by one. That meant that if they found a witch that had worked with Crowley before, they would likely be that much closer to finding you.

They had done a locator spell of their own to find the dark-skinned woman that stood before them. She had wild, curly hair and bright green eyes.

“It’s funny that you ask a question that has such an obvious answer,” Dean said, pushing his gun harder into the witch’s back. “These witch-killing bullets aren’t just in here for fun.”

“Tell us where he has her and we won’t kill you,” Sam said.

“I already told you, I. Don’t. Know.” She replied.

“And _I_ already told _you_ : I. Don’t. Believe. You.” Dean said, nudging her with his gun to punctuate his words. “I am _so_ not messing around.” He pulled back the hammer.

“Okay, okay. Don’t shoot me.” The witch shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Magdalena did nothing but brag about helping the King of Hell—as if she was the first one to ever do it. It was annoying. She said that he had her in an abandoned warehouse that he had fixed up all nice. It’s in Venice.”

“Italy?” Dean asked.

“No, Florida. Much less nice and definitely harder to find.”

“Well, thanks for the info.” Dean held the gun to her head, and she started to panic.

“Dean,” Sam began disapprovingly.

“You never let me have any fun,” Dean said, letting the witch go. She was gone within seconds.

“Well, let’s go get our girl,” Sam said, clapping Dean on the back as they walked to the car. Dean could feel his insides twisting with nerves. What if you didn’t want to see him? Could they convince you to come home?

“Damn it, Sammy, we should have asked that witch how to break the spell Y/N is under!” Dean said after they got in the car.

“It’s okay, I have Cas working on that now. We’re gonna get her back, and I mean completely,” Sam replied. Dean looked at his brother who had a look of sheer determination on his face.

He nodded his head and started the car. He would get you back, no matter what it took.

—-

They arrived at the warehouse only to find that there were no guards in or around it.

“What the hell? What is he doing?” Dean asked.

“I’m not sure, but it makes me think something bad is coming,” Sam said. He was behind Dean, his gun at the ready like his brother’s. After a few minutes of searching, they reached double mahogany doors that Dean was sure held you.

“Ready?” Dean asked, his hand on the door. Sam nodded, and Dean turned the handle, which was unlocked.

When they entered the room they were ready to encounter demons or at least Crowley. However, all they saw was you sitting on a velvet couch, dressing in a long white gown.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled, running over to you. He stopped short when he saw the look of anger and disgust on your face.

“What are you doing here? I told you to leave me alone!” You yelled. Dean shrunk back from the words. He had been expecting this, but he wasn’t ready for how much the words hurt.

“Y/N, sweetheart, this isn’t you. You don’t love Crowley,” Dean said, kneeling down and placing a hand on your knee.

“Yes, I do!” You stood up, pushing Dean’s hand off of you. “And you’re not taking me out of here!”

“Dean, we gotta do something,” Sam said, looking nervously around the room. “Crowley is bound to know we’re here.”

Dean had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, that you would go easily. “I’m sorry, darlin’.” He took the syringe he had in his inside pocket out and quickly stabbed you in the neck, pushing the plunger of liquid down.

Almost immediately, you began to fall. Dean caught you and picked you up, carrying you bridal-style out the door. Sam walked in front of you, making sure the way was clear.

Dean looked down at your sleeping form as he carried you down the hall. With you asleep, your face peaceful, it was easy to pretend that you didn’t have a long road ahead of you to clean you of Crowley’s poison.


	23. Chapter 23

You

Before you even opened your eyes, you could feel the intense headache you had. Your mouth was dry and you felt nauseous. When you did open your eyes, you immediately panicked.

“What the hell?” You yelled, your voice gravelly. You tried to move but found your arms were shackled to the bed.

You looked to your right and saw him, sitting quietly in a chair and watching you.

“Dean, you better fucking let me go! I told you I didn’t want this!” You were so angry, you could actually hardly believe it. Sure, you were mad at him for giving up finding you, but you had never felt this kind of anger in your life.

“Y/N, this is for your own good. You don’t know what you’re saying,” Dean responded calmly.

You struggled for another moment before giving up. You weren’t getting out, and you knew it.

“Crowley’s gonna find me, you know. And he’s powerful. There’s no way he’s going to just let you get away with this.”

Dean said nothing, but took his phone out of his pocket and pushed a few buttons. After a few moments, a voicemail began to play.

“ _Hello, Squirrel. Obviously I’ve noticed that you’ve taken my toy. It’s a shame, really. It took such precise work to break her in little by little with that spell. Ah, well. It’s not worth the trouble to get her back._ She’s _not worth the trouble. So, no need to bother retaliating. Let’s just go back to our separate existences in which we avoid each other until we need something, eh? I reckon you’ll have your hands full with her for now anyway._ _Ciao.”_

You sat flabbergasted at Crowley’s message. Not worth the trouble? You were sure that he had loved you. And what was the nonsense about a spell? Your love was real.

Tears slid silently down your face, and you turned it away from Dean. He stood up and walked to the door before stopping to look at you.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting. Just know, in a few days this will all be over.”

You tried to ignore him, but secretly you hoped it was true. You couldn’t stand the feeling of your heart being broken in two.

—-

Dean

A few days had past, and you no longer hated Dean. You didn’t particularly like him, either, but it was a sign that things were getting better.

The worst part was that coming off this spell was like going through withdrawal. You constantly had the shakes, you threw up anything you tired to eat or drink, had awful headaches, and you were miserable.

It broke Dean’s heart to see you like this. He often would sit behind you (despite your weak protests) and just hold you while the shakes overtook your body.

The best sign yet happened one night fairly late. Dean had been sitting with you and holding your hair back while you threw up into a bucket. You were exhausted, and it was all Dean could do to not carry you to his bed and keep you there with him.

“Dean,” you croaked out after a bout of vomiting.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Why are you doing all this for me? I’ve treated you like shit,” you said, wiping your mouth.

Dean smiled and let out a sigh, tucking a piece of stray hair behind your ear. “Because, Y/N, I love you. I didn’t get to tell you before Crowley took you, and I should have. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

Your eyes had the first sign of light in them that Dean had seen for days, and you smiled softly. “Seems like being loved by you is pretty great,” you said.

Dean felt his heart warm, and it was difficult for him to not lean over and kiss you. He knew you weren’t ready for that yet, though.

“Get some sleep, darlin’,” Dean said, standing up from the bed. He began to walk towards the hall and to his own room when you called for him.

“Dean,” you said. He stopped and turned to face you. “Can you stay with me tonight?” You looked shy as you asked it, and it made Dean chuckle.

“Of course.”

He got in bed next to you. He wasn’t sure how long it would be until your next bout of shaking or vomiting, but he was perfectly content to hold you for as long as he could.


	24. Chapter 24

You

You woke with a start, sitting straight up in bed. Dean was next to you, his breathing deep and even. You watched him for a moment, loving the way his face was so innocent and peaceful when he slept.

That’s when it hit you.

All the hatred you had felt toward Dean was gone. Any affection for Crowley was definitely gone, and the thought of being with him revolted you.

You quickly put a hand over your mouth to keep from squealing and quietly got out of bed. You walked to the bathroom, relieving yourself and brushing your teeth. When you ventured into the library, you plopped down on one of the wooden chairs across from Sam.

“You seem like you’re feeling better,” he said, taking you in. You knew you still looked awful but it must have been much worse before.

“I am,” you began. “Sam, I think the spell has completely worn off.” You closed your eyes and shook your head. “I was horrible to him,” you said, putting your hands over your face.

“Y/N, it’s not your fault. It was the spell. And obviously he forgives you. I saw that he didn’t sleep in his own room last night.”

You smiled and uncovered your face before letting the smile fade again. “God, Sam, the things I did when I was with Crowley...I cheated on Dean.” You felt your eyes well up with tears, horrified at what you had done.

“Again, Y/N, not your fault. Dean will understand,” Sam said, placing his hand over yours. “You guys have come too far to let this ruin you.”

“Agreed,” you heard from behind you. You turned around to see Dean leaning against the doorframe. You got up to face him.

“Dean,” you said, letting a few tears fall. “I’m so sorry.”

He smiled his half-smile and walked toward you. “You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart,” he said as he wiped your tears away with his thumbs. “I could never be mad at you for what that dick did to you.”

You tilted your head, letting his hand cradle your face. “I love you, Dean. Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“Anytime, darlin’.” He took your lips in a soft kiss and you leaned into it. With Dean’s arms around you, everything felt like it was falling back into place. You finally had him, and this time you weren’t letting go.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, and be sure to check out my other stories! :)


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